This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Kitten: Meow, meow, and Clucky, bork, bork, are two best friends.

[0:07] Clucky: Trying to make sense of the world around them.

[0:12] Kitten: Adventures and discoveries around every bend.

[0:17] Clucky: Come along and explore with them.

[0:22] Kitten: Season 3, Episode 9.

[0:25] Clucky: You Do Know That Friends Don't Eat Friends, Right?

[0:31] Kitten: Clucky, what are you doing on top of the coop?

[0:34] Clucky: It gives me a better view. I'm just checking to see if Xander's on his way down yet.

[0:39] Kitten: What are you doing up so early? The ladies are still snoozing.

[0:43] Clucky: Maddox had early morning ice skating practice again, so I've been up for a while now.

[0:48] Kitten: Are you trying to get the worm, Clucky?

[0:53] Clucky: Worm? Ew, no. Why?

[0:56] Kitten: Oh, early bird gets the worm.

[0:59] Clucky: There is too much chatter going on this early.

[1:03] Kitten: Clucky, you should go back to bed.

[1:06] Clucky: Now, ladies, it's time to rise and shine. Xander will be down any minute.

[1:12] Kitten: Did you hear that? I think it's coming from the forest. It can't be Xander.

[1:18] Clucky: What could it be this early? I'm not ready for visitors. My tail feathers are all in a twist.

[1:26] Kitten: Well, aside from you, Clucky, because, well, you know, we know you.

[1:31] Clucky: I hear it now, too. Some sort of rustling. Maybe it's Tatum and Neil.

[1:37] Kitten: No, it sounds lower to the ground and quieter.

[1:41] Clucky: Aha! Grrr!

[1:43] Kitten: Oh, my! What is that? It's a little ball of fur.

[1:46] Clucky: It's a ball of fur.

[1:48] Kitten: You smell tasty.

[1:50] Clucky: What are you talking about?

[1:52] Kitten: Don't tell Arminus that we smell tasty. He doesn't look much bigger than Rosie.

[1:57] Clucky: I may be small, but I'm fierce. Grrr!

[2:00] Kitten: Hmm, unimpressive.

[2:03] Clucky: What are you talking about? This is my hunting stance.

[2:06] Kitten: Pardon me, but who are you? And more importantly, what are you?

[2:10] Kai: My name is Kai, and I'm a coyote.

[2:13] Kitten: A coyote? Hmm, I love to eat oats.

[2:17] Kai: No, yo-tea. Coyote.

[2:20] Kitten: I thought it was kai-yo-tea.

[2:22] Kai: Actually, it's pronounced all those ways.

[2:25] Kai: Coyote, coyote, and even coyote.

[2:28] Kai: It varies across the U.S. and British English, but every way is correct.

[2:33] Clucky: It's just a matter of preference.

[2:35] Kai: Apparently, this little guy prefers coyote.

[2:38] Kitten: Who are you calling little? Grrr!

[2:40] Clucky: You're such a little fella. Haven't you seen yourself?

[2:43] Kai: I can gobble all of you up, but maybe I should just eat one of you and bring the rest of you back to my mama and brothers and sisters.

[2:51] Kitten: I feel like I should be frightened, but I'm not. Is that wrong?

[2:55] Clucky: Hey Kai, you should know we are quite experienced when it comes to predators.

[3:00] Kai: How come you're by yourself? You're a bit young to be out and about hunting on your own.

[3:04] Kai: I was out with my brothers and sisters and my mom doing some exploring.

[3:08] Kai: We moved dens a lot when we were young.

[3:10] Kai: My dad is out hunting with my aunts and uncles. I'm sure they're close somewhere.

[3:14] Kai: I smelled something tasty and came looking to see what's going on.

[3:17] Kai: I found a buffet of plump, tasty birds.

[3:19] Clucky: A buffet? Are there more of you around? Perhaps we should be more cautious.

[3:25] Kai: Who are you calling plump? I prefer full-feathered.

[3:29] Clucky: I'm feeling very uneasy about all of this. Maybe we're being hunted right now.

[3:35] Kai: I wouldn't worry too much, ladies.

[3:37] Kai: This coop that our humans provided is top of the line.

[3:40] Kai: It's supposed to keep all those predators out.

[3:43] Clucky: The small gray cat is not on your enclosure.

[3:46] Kai: I think I've got a good chance of getting up and grabbing her.

[3:49] Kitten: I assure you, I'm very small. I'm more fur than food.

[3:53] Clucky: Plus, our humans are going to be down here soon.

[3:56] Kai: Yup. There are humans around? My mom told me to watch out for them.

[3:59] Kitten: Oh yes, our humans are part of our family and they take great care of us.

[4:03] Clucky: So you should probably not come around too often.

[4:06] Kitten: We also have friends plotting world domination.

[4:09] Clucky: Hold on, Kitten. I don't think Rubix would be...

[4:11] Kitten: Clucky, of course Rubix is quite scary.

[4:14] Kitten: And she should definitely not be underestimated by Kai here.

[4:17] Kai: That does sound a bit scary.

[4:19] Kai: I've never met any creature plotting world domination before.

[4:22] Kitten: Oh yes, that's all Rubix talks about.

[4:26] Kitten: Then there's Piper and her new mate that drop by from time to time.

[4:30] Kitten: She has wrestled snakes before and come out victorious.

[4:33] Clucky: Oh right, you wouldn't want to mess with Piper.

[4:36] Kitten: Piper, she's amazing. Fast, strong, and unpredictable.

[4:40] Kai: How do you have all these friends?

[4:42] Clucky: Well, we are kind to all the animals that come around our way.

[4:45] Kitten: And we try and make friends.

[4:47] Kai: Hmm, maybe we could be friends then.

[4:50] Kai: Friends seem safer than enemies.

[4:52] Clucky: You do know friends don't eat friends, right?

[4:55] Kai: Well, yes.

[4:57] Kai: Perhaps we could try it on a trial and very cautious basis.

[5:01] Clucky: Hey chickens, I'm bringing someone to meet you.

[5:05] Kitten: Who is that?

[5:07] Clucky: That would be one of our humans.

[5:09] Kitten: I need to get out of here.

[5:11] Kai: Bye Kai.

[5:13] Clucky: Farewell.

[5:14] Kitten: Goodbye.

[5:15] Clucky: Are we seriously going to be friends with him?

[5:18] Kitten: Just wave goodbye ladies. We'll deal with that problem later.

[5:24] Clucky: Hi chickens, look who I've brought to meet you all.

[5:27] Clucky: This is Brownie.

[5:29] Kitten: Meow.

[5:30] Clucky: Oh hey Kitten, do you know Brownie?

[5:32] Kitten: Meow.

[5:33] Clucky: I've heard about Brownie from Rubix before, never been formally introduced.

[5:37] Kitten: Hello Brownie, I'm Kitten.

[5:39] Brownie: Hello.

[5:41] Kitten: My, my, aren't you a cute ball of fur.

[5:44] Clucky: Are you a squirrel or something?

[5:46] Kitten: He looks like a chinchilla.

[5:48] Brownie: A what now? Some kind of vanilla?

[5:51] Clucky: Isn't that a bean? He looks nothing like a bean.

[5:54] Brownie: No, I'm a hamster.

[5:56] Clucky: A hamster? But you're huge.

[5:59] Brownie: Or hamster that is.

[6:01] Clucky: I don't know a lot of hamsters. In fact, only Rubix.

[6:04] Brownie: But she's much smaller than you.

[6:06] Clucky: Uh huh.

[6:08] Brownie: I see you are a hamster of many words.

[6:11] Clucky: Not really.

[6:13] Brownie: It's called sarcasm.

[6:15] Clucky: Okay.

[6:17] Brownie: Hi Brownie, I'm Bella.

[6:19] Clucky: This is Brigitte and that's Bridget, the sarcastic one.

[6:22] Brownie: Hello.

[6:23] Clucky: And I'm Clucky.

[6:25] Brownie: Oh, you guys are all introducing yourselves. What do you think, Clucky?

[6:29] Clucky: Rock, rock.

[6:31] Brownie: I seem to recall that there was another hamster in the cage when we were moving out here.

[6:35] Clucky: But I never really saw you, Brownie.

[6:37] Brownie: Where have you been all this time?

[6:39] Brownie: In my cage most of the time.

[6:42] Brownie: But I did wander out and was lost for a little while.

[6:46] Clucky: Oh, that's what all the commotion was.

[6:49] Brownie: A few weeks ago, Xander and the family were all in a panic looking for something.

[6:53] Brownie: And I didn't understand what it was.

[6:56] Clucky: Rush, it was me.

[6:58] Brownie: The door was left open and I wandered out and fell off the table.

[7:03] Clucky: Fell off a table?

[7:05] Brownie: Oh my, that sounds frightening.

[7:07] Clucky: Did you hurt yourself?

[7:08] Brownie: No, I'm well padded.

[7:11] Clucky: Yes, you certainly are.

[7:13] Brownie: You're almost as round as a ball.

[7:16] Clucky: So then what happened?

[7:18] Brownie: I was out.

[7:19] Brownie: I ate some crumbs here and there.

[7:23] Brownie: And then I got stuck.

[7:25] Clucky: Stuck?

[7:26] Brownie: Where did you get stuck?

[7:28] Brownie: Behind a wall.

[7:30] Clucky: That sounds terrible.

[7:33] Brownie: How long were you stuck there?

[7:35] Brownie: No idea.

[7:37] Clucky: The whole family was looking for you for several days.

[7:40] Brownie: From the first day when Xander started panicking, it must have been three or four days later.

[7:45] Clucky: You were gone for three to four days?

[7:47] Brownie: How did you survive?

[7:49] Brownie: Weren't you hungry?

[7:51] Brownie: I always keep snacks in my cheeks.

[7:54] Clucky: How did you get stuck?

[7:56] Brownie: I was walking and then I couldn't move anymore.

[8:00] Brownie: I got stuck and couldn't move forwards or backwards.

[8:04] Clucky: Do you know where you got stuck?

[8:06] Brownie: Yeah, I was stuck in a crack in the wall by the fireplace.

[8:11] Clucky: I don't see very well and I think I was a little too big to squeeze through and got stuck.

[8:19] Clucky: That's right.

[8:20] Kitten: Hamsters do not have very good eyesight.

[8:22] Clucky: You are nearsighted and colorblind.

[8:24] Brownie: Yes.

[8:25] Clucky: How do you know that?

[8:27] Brownie: Maddox and I did some research on hamsters.

[8:30] Clucky: I think she was trying to figure out why Rubix was so mean.

[8:33] Kitten: Now, Clucky, you're throwing around a lot of big words.

[8:36] Clucky: What is nearsighted and colorblind?

[8:38] Brownie: Nearsighted? That sounds bad.

[8:41] Clucky: Is it contagious?

[8:42] Brownie: Can we get it?

[8:43] Clucky: Bork!

[8:44] Kitten: Meow.

[8:45] Clucky: No, Brigitte.

[8:46] Clucky: Don't fret.

[8:47] Clucky: Nearsighted means that Brownie cannot see things clearly that are far away from him.

[8:51] Clucky: Which makes sense because hamsters like to burrow and things are usually pretty close to them.

[8:56] Clucky: Can you even see us, Brownie?

[8:59] Brownie: Kind of.

[9:00] Brownie: You are the medium-sized green blob standing on the right side of the enclosure.

[9:07] Clucky: Green blob?

[9:09] Brownie: Why green?

[9:10] Clucky: I thought you said he was colorblind.

[9:12] Clucky: Doesn't that mean he does not see in color?

[9:16] Brownie: He is, but Maddox and I discovered in our research that the hamster eye is made up of 97% rod cells and only 3% of cone cells.

[9:24] Clucky: The cone cells are responsible for how animals and humans see in color.

[9:28] Brownie: And the rod cells help you see in low lighting or at night.

[9:31] Clucky: Researchers believe because they only have 3% of the cone cells, they see only the color green in a varying scale.

[9:38] Brownie: Like from light green to dark green and all the shades in between.

[9:41] Clucky: They do not see in black and white.

[9:44] Brownie: You are right.

[9:45] Brownie: Everything I see is the same color.

[9:48] Brownie: Just some things are darker and other things are lighter.

[9:53] Clucky: Well, Washington is very green anyway, so his vision is probably more accurate here.

[9:58] Kitten: Wait, am I understanding you correctly?

[10:01] Kitten: If we put Brownie in the desert where there were all shades of brown, it would still look green to him, just in different shades?

[10:08] Brownie: Yes, you are correct.

[10:10] Clucky: Cool!

[10:13] Kitten: Can we back up?

[10:15] Kitten: Brownie, how did you get out of the wall?

[10:17] Brownie: What happened?

[10:19] Brownie: I'm not really sure.

[10:21] Brownie: I couldn't move, so I waited.

[10:23] Brownie: I snuck on the food from my cheek pouches, but when that ran out, I had nothing to do.

[10:32] Brownie: I took a nap.

[10:34] Clucky: Didn't you get hungry after you ran out of food?

[10:36] Brownie: Yes, I did.

[10:38] Brownie: So hungry.

[10:39] Brownie: Then, one evening after my day sleep, when it felt like my stomach was going to escape from my body and go find food on its own, I was suddenly able to move.

[10:53] Brownie: I think you got stuck out of the space in the wall that I had been trapped in.

[10:57] Kitten: I wonder why you were able to move.

[11:00] Brownie: I don't know.

[11:02] Kitten: I think I do.

[11:04] Brownie: What do you think happened, Kitten?

[11:07] Kitten: I think when you got stuck it was because you were too large to fit through the crack that you were trying to get in. After a couple of days of no food, your body lost weight, and your body got smaller so you were able to back out of the space you were in.

[11:19] Brownie: I think you are right. I was certainly smaller after I came out.

[11:25] Brownie: Xander said so when he found me.

[11:28] Kitten: How did he find ya?

[11:30] Brownie: After I got out of the wall, I made my way back to Xander's room. I could smell food in my bowl. Once he put me back in my habitat, I ate for a long time.

[11:43] Kitten: Well, it looks like you've made a full recovery. I'm glad to have finally met you.

[11:46] Brownie: Yes, I am fully potted again.

[11:50] Clucky: Rock, I say so.

[11:52] Kitten: Are you okay, Brownie? You're rubbing your tummy. Is it time to go get food?

[11:57] Brownie: Rock, food? I can always use food.

[12:00] Clucky: Flucky, did you hear the word food? Don't worry. I'll open your enclosure door so you and the hens can roam around for fresh bugs.

[12:09] Brownie: Rock, you know me so well.

[12:11] Kitten: Enjoy breakfast. I'm going to get Brownie back to his habitat. It's about time for him to sleep for the day.

[12:33] Clucky: Sensei, Sensei, you there? I got a question for ya.

[12:37] Sensei: Flucky, what are you doing up by the pond?

[12:40] Clucky: I'm looking for Sensei. I got a question.

[12:43] Clucky: Where are the hens?

[12:45] Sensei: They are taking an afternoon nap. Good thing too. They were quite cranky. They certainly got up on the wrong side of the nest today.

[12:54] Clucky: I see.

[12:58] Sensei: Hark, did someone speaketh my name?

[13:00] Clucky: Sensei, good to see ya. Thanks for swimming over. I wanted to ask you a question.

[13:06] Kitten: Good afternoon, Sensei.

[13:08] Sensei: Greetings, gentle feline and feathered fowl.

[13:11] Clucky: Who you calling fowl? I just came to ask you a question.

[13:15] Kitten: Flucky, you misunderstand. Sensei meant fowl as in bird, not fowl as in disgusting or evil.

[13:21] Clucky: Oh, my bad. Sorry, Sensei. I'm still getting used to the way I speak.

[13:25] Sensei: Tis a challenge for many to comprehend at the speech of the bard.

[13:29] Clucky: Who's the bard?

[13:31] Sensei: The word bard means poet or storyteller of epic tales. Since William Shakespeare wrote so many famous plays, both comedies and tragedies, he is often referred to as the bard. It's kind of a nickname.

[13:44] Clucky: Oh, Shakespeare. That guy. Yeah, that's kind of what I heard.

[13:48] Sensei: You came to ask Sensei about William Shakespeare?

[13:51] Clucky: No, not exactly.

[13:53] Sensei: Proceed post-haste, though hath my curiosity at a peak.

[13:57] Clucky: Say what now?

[13:59] Kitten: He said, please ask your question. He is very curious. I must say, so am I.

[14:05] Clucky: Right. Well, I'm a bit confused as to what he said.

[14:10] Kitten: He said, please ask your question. He is very curious. I must say, so am I.

[14:15] Clucky: Right. Well, I'm a bit confused about your name and your speech. They don't really seem to add up to me.

[14:23] Kitten: Brownie said this Shakespeare fella... Shakespeare?

[14:27] Clucky: Yeah. Him. He lived in like the 1600s in England, and they spoke like you do. However, your name, Sensei Chu, doesn't seem to fit with that time or location. So, how did you get your name? And why do you talk like you do?

[14:42] Sensei: Wow, Clecky, that's very observant of you.

[14:46] Sensei: Verily, thou art most correct. Sensei Chu doth seem most out of character for one such as I. However, I am after all a Japanese koi fish, and the word Sensei comes from Japan and means teacher or elder.

[15:00] Clucky: Well, that makes sense, but why Chu?

[15:03] Sensei: Aye, that is most embarrassing.

[15:05] Sensei: Twas two owners before thou came to live here, when my name was giveneth to me. The lady who lived in thy house was one who brought me here to this pond. One sunny day, shortly after being thrust into this new pond, she came out with a small child. She and the small child threw out the most delicious food into the waters. I was most famished for my journey, and dare say I ate most greedily. The small child started shouting, Chu! Chu! While I gobbled down the food most tasty. The gentle lady laughed and said that is what we shall call him, Sensei Chu. Sensei because he is the elder fish in the pond, and Chu for his love of food.

[15:44] Clucky: I totally get gobbling down delicious food. We're the same that way. I love food.

[15:50] Sensei: You do love food more than anyone I've ever met, Clecky.

[15:54] Clucky: Guilty! It's so tasty!

[15:56] Sensei: So, I get your name now, but why do you speak like you do, with all the thee's and the thou's and the verily's?

[16:03] Sensei: Thou ask questions of great import today.

[16:06] Clucky: Exactly. I don't know what you just said.

[16:10] Kitten: He said you have very important questions today.

[16:14] Clucky: Thank goodness for the kitten translator.

[16:17] Sensei: Aye, I agree most heartily.

[16:20] Clucky: I'm happy to help. I would like to know the answer.

[16:22] Clucky: I'm happy to help. I would like to know the answer.

[16:25] Clucky: Why do you speak like you are from the Elizabethan era?

[16:28] Sensei: T'was because of the pond where I spent my youth, in the mystical waters of a land known as Ashland.

[16:34] Clucky: Ashland? Was it covered in ashes?

[16:37] Sensei: Nay, t'was not. T'was the home of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. The pond where I swam was on the shores of the Elizabethan stage. Actors and revelers would come to the water's edge and speak the language of the bard. All in the yee pond spoketh as such.

[16:49] Clucky: So everyone in your pond and around spoke this way?

[16:56] Sensei: Aye, verily.

[16:58] Clucky: What a fun place.

[17:00] Sensei: Speak for yourself. I don't think I'd be able to understand anyone there.

[17:04] Sensei: Nay, Clucky, thou wouldst.

[17:06] Clucky: Thank you for your confidence, Sensei.

[17:09] Sensei: So did you have a name in the other pond before you came here?

[17:14] Sensei: Aye, t'was Balthazar Lancaster. Balthazar t'was a name in several plays such as Romeo and Juliet, Much Ado About Nothing, Comedy of Errors, and Merchant of Venice. T'were many of my favorites to watch from the water's edge.

[17:28] Clucky: You could watch plays from your last pond where you lived? Wow, that must have been so nice.

[17:35] Sensei: Always wanted to go to a theater.

[17:37] Sensei: Aye, t'was an open-air stage where actors performed all through the warm days of summer.

[17:43] Clucky: That sounds lovely.

[17:44] Sensei: From your last pond you could see actors on a stage talking the way you talk.

[17:49] Clucky: Sounds kind of boring to me.

[17:51] Sensei: Clucky, Shakespeare's works are famous around the world. He got to see actors dressed as lords and ladies and express their undying love for one another.

[18:02] Kitten: Uh, Clucky, you are not helping. That sounds even worse than I thought.

[18:07] Sensei: Hold, Clucky. T'wasn't all romance. There were tragic tales of woe and not many survivors in the tragedy. And t'were swords.

[18:12] Clucky: Swords?

[18:16] Sensei: Swords might be cool.

[18:18] Clucky: Why'd you leave?

[18:20] Sensei: T'was not by choice. The pond had grown full of koi. One hot day many men came with nets and scooped up as many fish as they could. They dropped us in buckets and ferried us away to lands unknown. Alas, t'is how I came here, with my new name.

[18:36] Clucky: I guess the old owner would have had no idea where you came from.

[18:39] Sensei: Nay, she did not.

[18:41] Clucky: So now here I swim, with a name unsuited for me.

[18:45] Kitten: Would you prefer we call you Ba-Ba-Balthazar?

[18:51] Sensei: Wow, that's a lot to say.

[18:53] Clucky: Maybe Bal or Bally?

[18:55] Sensei: Nay, I've grown used to Sensei. It seems easier for thee to say.

[19:00] Clucky: Whew, it is.

[19:02] Kitten: Thanks for telling me your story. It was most interesting. I'd better get back. I think Maddox is home from school.

[19:09] Sensei: Fare thee well.

[19:13] Clucky: What you talkin' about?

[19:15] Kitten: This is a new segment where you get to tell us what's on your mind. Tell us a joke.

[19:21] Clucky: Or share a fun fact.

[19:23] Kitten: Or ask us your burning questions.

[19:26] Clucky: Lucky no one has burning questions.

[19:29] Kitten: You never know.

[19:31] James: Hi, my name is James. I'm nine years old and I'm from Camas, Washington.

[19:36] Clucky: Howdy, James.

[19:38] James: And I have a joke.

[19:40] Clucky: We love jokes.

[19:42] James: Why did the frog have to walk home from work?

[19:45] Clucky: I don't know.

[19:47] James: Why did the frog have to walk home from work?

[19:49] Clucky: Because his car got towed.

[19:51] Clucky: Towed?

[19:53] James: It's a frog.

[19:55] Clucky: It's a frog.

[19:57] James: It's a frog.

[19:58] Clucky: Towed.

[20:00] Clucky: It's a frog.

[20:29] Clucky: And tell us what you think.

[20:31] Clucky: Or leave us a review on Apple or Spotify.

[20:33] Kitten: Voices for today's characters were performed by

[20:36] Matt Daniels: as Sensei Chu

[20:39] Sensei: Aye, it was Balthazar Lancaster.

[20:42] Kai Welsh: as Kai the Coyote

[20:45] Kai: I may be small, but I'm fierce. Grr!

[20:48] Corbin Daniels: as Xander

[20:51] Xander: Hi, chickens.

[20:53] Brownie: Holo.

[20:56] Parker Daniels: as Bridget

[20:58] Bridget: Hmm, unimpressive.

[21:01] Bella: I feel like I should be frightened, but I'm not.

[21:05] Brigitte: Who are you calling plump?

[21:07] Brigitte: I prefer full-feathered.

[21:11] Amy Daniels: as Kitten

[21:14] Kitten: That sounds lovely.

[21:16] Amy Daniels: and Clucky

[21:18] Clucky: You do know friends don't eat friends, right?

[21:21] Amy Daniels: The Kitten and Clucky podcast was created, edited, and produced by Amy Daniels. Today's script was written by Christine Rosam and Amy Daniels. Special thanks to Henry Johnson, our theme song composer.

[21:30] Amy Daniels: Did you know he wrote that when he was only 12 years old?

[21:33] Clucky: Wow, he's so talented!

[21:37] Amy Daniels: Sound effects and song music provided by Epidemic Sound.