This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Andrew DeWolf: Fat Bottom Girls really do make the rockin' world go round. And also, you shouldn't be in here.

[0:05] Jess McAnally: You should not be in here because we are in quarantine.

[0:09] Jess McAnally: We're in quarantine, guys.

[0:11] Jess McAnally: We're in quarantine.

[0:15] Jess McAnally: But while you're here, how about we talk about Patreon?

[0:18] Jess McAnally: Andrew, what's Patreon and who's supporting us on Patreon?

[0:22] Andrew DeWolf: Uh, Patreon... oh, are you okay?

[0:25] Jess McAnally: I'm alright.

[0:25] Andrew DeWolf: Okay, Patreon is where you can go if you'd like to donate to us, get some extra perks, things like that.

[0:30] Andrew DeWolf: Lots of fun stuff.

[0:35] Andrew DeWolf: We got the Glee podcast on there.

[0:38] Andrew DeWolf: We got a lot of different stuff.

[0:42] Andrew DeWolf: How about I tell you who's supporting us on Patreon?

[0:44] Jess McAnally: Would you like that, Andrew?

[0:46] Andrew DeWolf: Sure, I'll do the, uh, I'll do the mid-show one.

[0:48] Andrew DeWolf: Why don't we do that? We'll switch it up a little bit.

[0:51] Andrew DeWolf: Our current patrons are Terry Needleman, Max Lunig, Benjamin Laird, Lily Ackles, John Donna, Taryn The Duck, The Phantastick, Jess Lightning, Ewan Cassidy, Haley MacDonald, Taskier, Fire September, Mina Mineri, Monica Thoreau, Brent Brack, Haley Marie, Allison Wonderland, B-Wave Flakes, Lith Daniel, Stacey Coombe, Joseph Evans-Green, hey, hey, I think he's the one that makes us do in today's episode.

[1:13] Jess McAnally: Oh, gosh.

[1:14] Andrew DeWolf: LunaRocks222, Irrigale, Drew A. Whiter, Carrie Ahern, Christine Malmedel, Mezzanine Theater Diary, Mary Lou Choquette, Ann Nunnally, Cole Burtfield, John Van Al's, Holly Stistically, Russ Walker, Musical Hell, Emily Grace, Andrew Van Bar-son, Emily Stack, Kyle Summers, Mr. B, Jenae C., Kyle without a last name, Christina Francis, Jessica A., Skyler, Liz Lim, Corey Wilmarth, Allison Stuller, Rachel Rose Velez, and nothing is certain except Beth and Taxes. They all support us on Patreon and get all the perks that Andrew mentioned. I like that last one. That was a funny one.

[1:57] Jess McAnally: That's a good name. It's easy to pronounce and it's fun to say.

[2:01] Jess McAnally: But how about we get onto the show? I feel like we've shilled enough.

[2:04] Andrew DeWolf: We've definitely shilled enough. Time to-

[2:06] Jess McAnally: I mean, they already listened to the Broadway Podcast Network ads and then this.

[2:09] Andrew DeWolf: Oh my god, that's like eight minutes of ads. Let's go.

[2:17] Jess McAnally: Hello, I'm Jesse McAnally.

[2:19] Andrew DeWolf: And I am Andrew DeWolf.

[2:21] Jess McAnally: And welcome to Musicals with Cheese, a podcast where I try to get Andrew to like musical theater.

[2:25] Jess McAnally: How are you doing today, Andrew?

[2:27] Andrew DeWolf: Well, you know, I was just listening to the state-sponsored radio station that's run by the internet corporation that creates all music, you know, and I was like, man, I'm so excited to talk about the state-sponsored music that is created by the internet corporation that creates all music with my good buddy, Jess.

[2:48] Jess McAnally: Yeah, and we're also rock and rolling. But don't tell nobody.

[2:52] Andrew DeWolf: Rock and rolling. That's strictly against the law, actually. All musical instruments are outlawed.

[2:58] Jess McAnally: But we're bohemians.

[3:02] Andrew DeWolf: We're not watching Rent today.

[3:04] Jess McAnally: And this is our Rhapsody.

[3:11] Jess McAnally: Guys, this week, we are covering as a Patreon request by our wonderful Patreon, who probably meant very well with this request, but really, really, is We Will Rock You from Joseph Evans Green.

[3:30] Andrew DeWolf: Why did you do this to us, Joseph?

[3:32] Jess McAnally: Why did you do this to us, Joseph?

[3:34] Andrew DeWolf: Why, Joseph?

[3:35] Jess McAnally: Why?

[3:41] Jess McAnally: We Will Rock You, often abbreviated to WWRY, is a jukebox musical based on the songs of the British rock band Queen, with a book by Ben Elton. Now, let me tell you a little bit about Ben Elton.

[4:10] Andrew DeWolf: I don't usually interrupt, but the only major theater production he has worked on that wasn't We Will Rock You is Love Never Dies. Your track record there.

[4:21] Jess McAnally: I also like that you're apologizing for interrupting yourself.

[4:24] Andrew DeWolf: Yes. I still have a lot more to go, but just know that that is the setup for where the rest of this is going. That is the prelude. All right, let me continue. The musical tells the story of a group of bohemians who struggle to restore the free exchange of thought and fashion and live music in a distant future where everyone dresses, thinks, and acts the same. Musical instruments and composers are forbidden, and rock music is all but unknown. Although the musical was first panned by critics, it has become an audience favorite, becoming one of the longest running musicals at the Dominion Theater, celebrating its 10th anniversary on the 14th of May of 2012. The 11th longest running musical in the West End history, the London production closed on May 31st, 2014, after a final performance in which Brian May and Roger Taylor both performed.

[5:23] Andrew DeWolf: I assume they're members of Queen.

[5:28] Jess McAnally: A number of international-

[5:28] Andrew DeWolf: This guitarist and drummer, I think.

[5:33] Jess McAnally: Yeah. It's hard to be in a band where only anyone ever cares about was the singer.

[5:35] Andrew DeWolf: That's not true. Brian May, a lot of people care about.

[5:38] Jess McAnally: Yeah. And We Will Rock You has been seen in six of the world's continents. Many productions are still active globally. I don't understand why, Andrew.

[5:44] Andrew DeWolf: I just want to briefly mention, this is totally unrelated, but there's a really funny review of Queen's album Jazz where, for the Rolling Stone magazine, the person reviewing it called Queen the first fascist rock band. I don't know if that's actually true, that they're straight fascists, but that's really funny that that was something that they brought up and then they helped create one of the worst musicals I've ever seen in my life.

[6:16] Jess McAnally: Really? It's that bad?

[6:22] Andrew DeWolf: I hated this so much. It's so terrible.

[6:27] Jess McAnally: Alright. I don't even dislike Queen. Honestly, I know you hate Queen. Let's frame that as the reason why we're doing this today. On our Glee podcast, which I'm sure a lot of you people aren't following on Patreon if you're not on the list we just read at the beginning of this show, but in that we talked about how they sing Queen because they do that quite a bit in Glee.

[6:44] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, they do.

[6:44] Jess McAnally: And I very much do not enjoy the music of Queen. I think it's overplayed and kind of overproduced and overworshipped, like the Bohemian Rhapsody movie might be the worst film I've ever seen.

[7:02] Andrew DeWolf: I mean, to be fair, that movie has more problems than just even if you like Queen's music, it's still pretty bad.

[7:06] Jess McAnally: I'm going to say that Freddie Mercury is the only valid thing to come out of Queen. I'm going to be that. Not even his music.

[7:14] Andrew DeWolf: Him as an iconic figure is the only valid thing to come out of Queen.

[7:18] Jess McAnally: I don't know. Can we talk about how good John Deacon is at the bass and how he just kind of went away? You know what?

[7:24] Andrew DeWolf: He's just retired.

[7:25] Jess McAnally: I love Death of the Author. Do that.

[7:27] Andrew DeWolf: But isn't Queen touring now with Adam Lambert as the lead singer and all that?

[7:34] Jess McAnally: Queen is currently touring, yes, but John Deacon is retired, so he's not with them.

[7:38] Andrew DeWolf: Good.

[7:38] Jess McAnally: It's Brian May and Roger Taylor. I think they just got a different bass player.

[7:44] Andrew DeWolf: Is it even Queen anymore when half the band's gone?

[7:46] Jess McAnally: It's like The Beatles, and then the only one there is Ringo Starr.

[7:50] Andrew DeWolf: Fuck you. Get this shit out of here.

[7:52] Jess McAnally: Yeah, it kind of isn't, though. You can say Brian May, and I guess you could talk about Roger Taylor. Does anyone give a shit about Roger Taylor? I don't think so.

[8:02] Andrew DeWolf: You could say that Brian May is a really great guitarist, and he is.

[8:05] Jess McAnally: I mean, that's fair, and he helped write a lot of the songs.

[8:08] Andrew DeWolf: Which is a sin in my book.

[8:10] Jess McAnally: A lot of the songs were written by the other members of the band as well, and two of them are just gone. I mean, John Deacon's not dead, but he doesn't play with them anymore.

[8:22] Andrew DeWolf: And Freddie Mercury is dead.

[8:25] Jess McAnally: I mean, yeah.

[8:27] Andrew DeWolf: So the best you can do is turn all the work that you guys did as a collaboration into an insane musical that makes nearly no sense.

[8:36] Jess McAnally: When did this start?

[8:38] Andrew DeWolf: This was after Freddie Mercury died, right?

[8:41] Jess McAnally: Yes, in 2002. It opened in 2002.

[8:44] Andrew DeWolf: I want to say I don't think Freddie Mercury would have allowed this to happen.

[8:47] Jess McAnally: I don't think he would. He would have done something completely different.

[8:50] Andrew DeWolf: He would have done, like, I'm not saying what he would have done would have been good. It would have probably looked something a lot like Elton John's The Stott Musical, which is very bad.

[8:59] Jess McAnally: Oh, I mean, yeah, but he probably, knowing how theatric he is and all that, I think he would have been like, well, I'm just good. We're going to write all original songs for this, and it's going to be crazy.

[9:09] Andrew DeWolf: Well, no, I imagine he would have gone his own way of doing Elton John, and maybe he would have done the music for The Lion King. That's the future I saw for Freddie Mercury if he had lived.

[9:19] Jess McAnally: Freddie Mercury done his own thing.

[9:21] Andrew DeWolf: He deserved better than Queen.

[9:23] Jess McAnally: Yes, that is my honest opinion.

[9:25] Andrew DeWolf: I agree with that entirely.

[9:27] Andrew DeWolf: Queen actually has probably the weirdest mix of music that I've heard from any band, because there's some songs that I absolutely despise, and then there's other songs that I think are really great.

[9:37] Jess McAnally: So it's just strange.

[9:39] Andrew DeWolf: See, I think Queen songs for me are, like, bad to overplayed to meh.

[9:44] Jess McAnally: That is my ranking of Queen.

[9:46] Andrew DeWolf: I guess. I mean, I don't know if I don't consider overplayed to be a genre, though. Like, some of the overplayed songs are good.

[9:54] Jess McAnally: I mean, I get that, but sometimes oversaturation of anything can take something good and make it bad.

[10:01] Andrew DeWolf: True.

[10:02] Jess McAnally: That being said, none of them make any fucking sense in the story that they wrote for this musical.

[10:07] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, and I want you to please, with all the best you can, try to explain what happens in the musical We Will Rock You.

[10:12] Jess McAnally: Oh, God.

[10:19] Andrew DeWolf: Whoa, for the love of God.

[10:20] Jess McAnally: Okay, We Will Rock You is...

[10:25] Andrew DeWolf: Oh my God.

[10:26] Jess McAnally: Is this a subgenre of, like, rock persecution complex? Is that a subgenre of media?

[10:31] Andrew DeWolf: I mean, it's like rock music footloose, but they're too embarrassed to call it footloose.

[10:40] Jess McAnally: Yeah, so there is a future world where rock music is banned, or all music is banned for that matter, but apparently the only music that actually matters is rock music.

[10:52] Andrew DeWolf: So, all music is banned, but most importantly, rock music is banned, except for Gaga music, which they just wanted to use the song Radio Gaga. So, there's that.

[11:03] Jess McAnally: Oh, God, do I have to say his name?

[11:06] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, say the name.

[11:07] Jess McAnally: Galileo Figaro is the chosen one who is going to break free from the system.

[11:17] Andrew DeWolf: He wants to break free.

[11:19] Jess McAnally: Yes, he's going to find all of the bohemians who are the rebellion and get rid of the oppressive system that creates boy band music.

[11:32] Andrew DeWolf: No, that is not a joke.

[11:36] Jess McAnally: He has a girl that he... What's her name?

[11:39] Andrew DeWolf: What's her name?

[11:41] Jess McAnally: Scaramouche.

[11:44] Andrew DeWolf: Someone wrote this.

[11:46] Jess McAnally: Someone wrote this.

[11:47] Andrew DeWolf: Oh my God.

[11:49] Jess McAnally: The bohemians want to take down the bad guy. And it's like, the plot is so bare bones and stupid, because it's just an excuse to put in the Queen Greatest Hits album.

[12:04] Andrew DeWolf: They might as well have bought a Queen Greatest Hits album and then been like, how do we make this into a show? Let's figure it out.

[12:12] Jess McAnally: I mean, the thing is, you say it's so bare bone, but it's also super complicated in its world building.

[12:20] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, it's complicated in its world building, sure.

[12:23] Jess McAnally: But its world building is all awful and really has no bearing on the actual story that's being told.

[12:30] Andrew DeWolf: I mean, the story that's being told is just the generic hero journey kind of thing. He joins the rebellion and it's just Star Wars. He joins the rebellion and takes down the bad guy.

[12:42] Andrew: With music. Star Wars with music.

[12:44] Jess: With music. He takes it down with music. Is there no Star Wars musical?

[12:48] Andrew: There is several Star Wars musicals.

[12:53] Jess: And of course the entire show is just they're building up to play Bohemian Rhapsody at the end because of course they are.

[13:00] Andrew: What the fuck else are you going to end this show with?

[13:02] Jess: I don't know. I mean once they...

[13:06] Andrew: You need to get the people on their fucking feet by the end of this horseshit.

[13:10] Jess: Can we talk about the book? We don't do this very often.

[13:15] Andrew: But holy hell. Every single line is like how can we reference a Queen song?

[13:22] Jess: It's not even just Queen songs. It's just general rock music sometimes too.

[13:28] Andrew: Yeah it's just like man how can we say something that references a Queen or rock song?

[13:35] Jess: I feel like in Act 1 it's mostly Queen songs but then I think they ran out of jokes to do that involved titles of Queen songs.

[13:42] Andrew: So they just started to do generic rock music as well.

[13:48] Jess: This show just drains the energy out of me to think about.

[13:52] Andrew: It is life draining. It is absolutely horrendous.

[13:58] Jess: And it is one of the worst things we've covered I think.

[14:02] Andrew: Easily one of the worst things we've covered.

[14:04] Jess: And it makes me want to write a very long apology note to another jukebox musical that I've shit on numerous times.

[14:10] Andrew: Called Rock of Ages.

[14:12] Jess: Which just takes place in this little rock and roll bar that's going to get shut down by a group of protesters that are anti-rock.

[14:20] Andrew: And I was like you know that's basically the same plot.

[14:23] Jess: It's just that show knew what it was and this one really wants to try to make it seem super important.

[14:29] Andrew: Everything. Everything is super important.

[14:32] Jess: Yeah. No I can see that.

[14:36] Andrew: I also think that this is not how you should do a jukebox musical.

[14:44] Jess: This isn't fun.

[14:46] Andrew: No it's not fun.

[14:48] Jess: And like basically they just force these Queen songs to make sense in the story.

[14:55] Andrew: They're like well if we just name the bad guy Killer Queen they can sing the song Killer Queen.

[15:01] Jess: And it's like oh if we just name the normal people Gaga kids they can sing Radio Gaga.

[15:09] Andrew: It's like it's just dumb.

[15:11] Jess: Or if we make the bad guy a woman and that she's also larger we can make her sing Fat Bottom Girls.

[15:18] Andrew: Honestly like that's like literally the basis of this whole show.

[15:23] Jess: It's just like how can we force them to do this.

[15:27] Andrew: Can we talk about the villains for a second.

[15:29] Jess: They are awful.

[15:31] Andrew: What are their goals?

[15:33] Jess: I mean their goals are just to destroy the rebellion.

[15:38] Andrew: I don't understand exactly why.

[15:41] Jess: I guess in this world music is an incredibly profitable business which no it's not.

[15:49] Andrew: But I guess in this world it is and controlling all music and having a monopoly on all music created gets them a lot of money.

[15:59] Jess: Question mark.

[16:01] Andrew: Or control of the culture.

[16:03] Jess: I don't understand why they can't just force all artists to sign up with them as like you know a monopoly record company which is like a normal thing that could happen.

[16:14] Andrew: And then they can create their own music and then the company publishes it which still nets them the majority of the profit.

[16:22] Jess: But apparently no not doing that is dumb.

[16:26] Andrew: We have to produce music and instruments are banned.

[16:30] Jess: Which I also I hate the this has a very like anti-electronic music sort of vibe to it.

[16:39] Andrew: And very anti-internet in general computer in general vibe.

[16:43] Jess: Yeah so like the Bohemians which are the good guys talk about how everything was great until the boy bands attacked you know like.

[16:54] Andrew: Fuck you NSYNC.

[16:56] Jess: Yeah it's like yeah but you want to talk about how crappy boy bands are they're not even that bad and they pose no real threat to rock music.

[17:04] Andrew: Rock music existed coexisted with boy bands for the entire duration that boy bands were a thing.

[17:12] Jess: Yeah the Beatles existed at the same time as Queen and the Jonas Brothers exist right now during the same time as rock bands I'm sure.

[17:21] Andrew: It's ridiculous and basically the whole premise is just them.

[17:27] Jess: It's like it's like Queen the people writing this are lamenting the fact that Queen is no longer pop music and pop music is now boy bands.

[17:37] Andrew: But it's things evolve with the time and that's not a bad thing.

[17:42] Jess: No.

[17:43] Andrew: So like even the messaging of the show which is supposed to it's supposed to signal out to the audience who I assume is just Queen fans that were born in like the 60s and grew up with it.

[17:58] Jess: Yeah and it's supposed to message to them like oh man all this new music sucks huh wouldn't it be better if everyone just listened to Queen.

[18:05] Andrew: It's like fascism because no one's listening to Queen anymore.

[18:10] Jess: Yeah it's fascism because no one likes Queen anymore it's crazy.

[18:14] Andrew: Fucking kids I ought to beat them.

[18:18] Jess: It's ridiculous it's so ridiculous and honestly I don't think I don't know about Brian May and them because I haven't heard about this whatever he does on Twitter I don't follow him.

[18:27] Andrew: But like I feel like Freddie Mercury would not be against music evolving with the times it just doesn't seem to fit in his character.

[18:35] Jess: Like Queen themselves was a pretty progressive band and definitely pushed music forward.

[18:43] Andrew: It's not like they're just performing the same stuff that existed before before them you know like why would he be so against music changing.

[18:52] Jess: I mean I think that the fact is Freddie Mercury was kind of down to ride whatever roller coaster and Queen wanted to be Queen if that makes sense.

[19:02] Andrew: What is this Brian May posting stuff what does he post now?

[19:06] Jess: I'm trying to remember what it was I remember everyone kind of lost their shit about it so now I'm looking it up don't worry.

[19:12] Andrew: This is why we need a producer on this show.

[19:14] Jess: It's not important really like we don't have to shit on Brian May.

[19:17] Andrew: Yeah I don't want to I want to shit on all Queen not just him but.

[19:22] Jess: Okay so this is one of the first shows where I felt embarrassed for the audience.

[19:27] Andrew: Like when I was watching it I literally felt like man if I was in the audience for this I would be embarrassed.

[19:34] Jess: You know like I feel bad for all of the actors who have to say all these things and I just I just feel bad.

[19:43] Andrew: It's just it's a downer show.

[19:47] Jess: I mean it's not I wouldn't even call it a downer it's just nothing lands the songs don't land the jokes don't land the visuals don't land.

[19:57] Andrew: And really the best I can say about it is when they sing a Queen song that I like I'm at least like oh I like this song.

[20:06] Jess: See I'm just like oh I want all to be over.

[20:10] Andrew: I would rather just listen to the Queen songs that I like.

[20:14] Jess: Like if I wanted to listen to Seven Seas of Rye I could just look it up and listen to it and get a better experience than waiting through two hours to get to that song.

[20:29] Andrew: I don't that's the point of jukebox musicals that I still don't understand.

[20:33] Jess: Honestly like either you want to go see the artist and go fucking see them or you want to see a story that might incorporate some songs you like.

[20:42] Andrew: In which case you might as well just listen to songs you like.

[20:44] Jess: I don't understand it at all.

[20:46] Andrew: It's I think it's it's musical theater for people that don't want to be challenged with new music essentially.

[20:54] Jess: It's like man I already like Queen and I know all of their songs I'll go see a musical that is just all Queen songs.

[21:02] Andrew: Because you don't want to be challenged with like a new song you've never heard before.

[21:08] Jess: I think this might just be to get older people to see shows because older people as much as people love like Waitress I don't see any old people really going out of their way to see Waitress.

[21:19] Andrew: So I I've read a it was a while ago but I didn't read it fully actually I just saw a study about this being shared around which it maybe isn't true.

[21:30] Jess: But I'm just gonna say what I said because I feel like it feel like it it feels true you know and sometimes that's enough not not really.

[21:37] Andrew: But there was a study that said after the age of like 27 people stop looking for new music.

[21:46] Jess: Like they'll just listen to what they've already heard before for the rest of their lives essentially or at least the majority of people not all people of course.

[21:54] Andrew: Really?

[21:55] Jess: Yeah because they basically just asked like you know in normal people we're in the music circle so I feel like when if we asked around to be a very different answer.

[22:04] Andrew: But if you ask normal people like what their favorite bands are it's probably something that they listen to you know in their 20s or in high school you know.

[22:15] Jess: I mean that makes sense but I love listening to new shit but I think that just might be me being in a specific field where I I like musicals so there's always new musicals.

[22:26] Andrew: Yeah.

[22:27] Jess: I don't hold the stuff I listen to as a kid and any higher regard than the things I listen to now.

[22:33] Andrew: In fact the things I listen to as a kid I hold in less regard and at a certain point because I used to like Rent when I was really young and now I fucking hate it because I grew a brain.

[22:43] Jess: Can we talk about the ridiculous feminist subplot to this show?

[22:50] Andrew: All right.

[22:53] Jess: So Scaramouche which is already just the worst thing you could ever call a human being but that's her name in the show.

[23:08] Andrew: Yeah.

[23:10] Jess: Is constantly being like told what to do by different men and she she's very vocally feminist about it but they never really resolve the plot and say that she was right about any of the feminist issues.

[23:25] Andrew: They're just kind of they eventually push her into submission essentially and then that's it.

[23:33] Jess: And then it's over.

[23:36] Andrew: It's a mess.

[23:37] Jess: It's a story that doesn't make no sense by a man that just wanted to ring out Queen songs.

[23:42] Andrew: Can I read you some excerpts from reviews of the original production and London reviewers are a little more lenient than New York reviewers.

[23:51] Jess: They don't quite have the stigma that like the New York Times has though.

[23:56] Andrew: Yeah.

[23:57] Jess: Take that grain of salt in with this.

[24:00] Andrew: Sure.

[24:01] Jess: Sure.

[24:02] Andrew: So these are these are nice.

[24:04] Jess: London's critics almost uniformly pan the show criticizing the concept and direction.

[24:10] Andrew: The Guardian wrote that the premise really is as sixth form as it sounds.

[24:15] Jess: Call the production ruthlessly packaged and manufactured and opine that the sometimes funny libretto exists mainly to devise more unlikely ways to ring out another queen song.

[24:28] Andrew: The Daily Mirror wrote that Ben Elton should be shot for this result.

[24:32] Jess: Residual story.

[24:35] Andrew: The Daily Telegraph described it as guaranteed to bore you rigid prola feed at its worst.

[24:43] Jess: However some individual performances received some praise and the production remained a popular success.

[24:50] Andrew: Oh my God.

[24:52] Jess: I can't I can't say that's inaccurate.

[24:54] Andrew: Not at all.

[24:57] Jess: I want to put myself in the mind of someone that went to this like I'm going to see this because I like Queen and enjoy it and got something out of it.

[25:05] Andrew: Why did they do that.

[25:07] Jess: The only thing I could possibly picture getting out of this even even from the biggest Queen fan is just that the songs were performed decently.

[25:23] Andrew: Well, maybe. I can see that probably. But even that, like, you still have to sit through the horrible book. You still have to sit through two and a half hours and nobody can tell me they love every Queen song. Like, come on. Even the hardest Queen fans, there's no way you like every Queen song enough that you'll sit through fucking two and a half hours of this shit. I try to imagine this now that I was thinking about it. Like, is this what- I feel like this is the equivalent from the real idiot Star Wars fans that really love The Rise of Skywalker, where they feel like they're pandering specifically to me. They're mentioning all the bands I loved as a kid. Oh my god, I know this Queen song. I knew this song.

I see where they're going with this. I'm being pandered to. And just loving it because it was catering to your specific needs. Not challenging you at all. So basically, what you're saying is that this is for brainlets? Smooth brain? Yes. Let's just say- You're saying that this is for people that like the Star Wars, the last Star Wars movie. The Rise of Skywalker. Which is a movie I have- Even the people that hated The Last Jedi and the people that liked The Last Jedi both agree that Rise of Skywalker is the worst thing ever to happen. Like, that's how bad that movie is. Yes it is. Those two groups that literally can't agree on anything both agree that that movie is awful. And you're saying that this is the Queen version of that. Yes, I am saying that. Without an ounce of regret or remorse in my voice, that is what this is. If Hamilton is a nicely made restaurant steak, this is baby food.

[27:25] Jess: Yeah. I mean, the story is so ridiculous and horrible. Like, it really doesn't exist for anything other than just rock and roll references that people in the audience will go, Meatloaf. I know Meatloaf. I've heard of that guy. John Greenfield's forever Beatles. Penny Lane. Oh, that's the Beatles. That's the Beatles. Gotta clap for the Beatles. Gotta clap for the Beatles. Gotta clap for the Beatles. Very cool. Rey and Kylo kissed. Gotta clap. Like, for real though. There's Lando. Gotta clap. I love Lando. It's like, it is actually that. You're right. You're absolutely right. I want to say it might even be worse than that, though, because it also, it has the underlying message of people that like rock music are all persecuted. Yes. So it literally has, like, the victim narrative underneath all of the pandering. So it's like, oh, you love Queen? You're actually a victim because of that. And people love that.

[28:34] Andrew: They do. People absolutely love that. Especially baby boomers, because they never had the victimization. They didn't have the draft. They didn't have any of this shit. Yeah. So basically, it's got the underlying narrative of you're a victim because you like rock music and Queen's music. And then on top of that, it's built up with pandering. Like, here's all the stuff you like. We're just name dropping it. Beatles, Queen, a Queen song. Oh, we're mentioning the Beatles again. Oh, Meatloaf. And now it's over. Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh, and you know what? I actually forgot the top layer, the top layer hating on the new stuff. Yes, that is the most important thing. So literally, you have the bottom layer of victimization, the meat, the meat of it, of pandering and the top layer of hating on everything that's new. And it is a it is a boomer sandwich. And I've called a boomer lasagna with like a sauce of just like general cynicism and grunge all over it. And just a little pinch of hating women.

[29:46] Jess: Shut up, woman, and know your place. Freddie Mercury would have been embarrassed to know this is what his music went to. Oh, my God. I don't think we could even describe this in a better way than what we just did there. I think this is our most accurate, our most accurate episode.

[30:10] Andrew: Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt you in the middle of the show, but we've got a show at you. Andrew, why don't you read who's supporting us on Patreon?

[30:17] Jess: Our current patrons are Terry Needleman, Max Lunick, Benjamin Lear, Lily Ackles, John Donna, Taron the Duck, The Fantastic Just Lighting, Ewan Cassidy, Haley McDonnell, Tess Skier, Fire of September, Mina Muniri, Monica Theroux, Brent Black, Hayley Murray, Alison Wonderland, B-Way Flix, Nathaniel Stacey-Coombe, Joseph Evans-Green.

[30:37] Andrew: Thanks, Joseph. Lunarocks222, Irigael Drouet, Whiter, Carrie Ahern, Christine Malmedel, Mezzanine Theater Diary, Mary Lou Choquette, and not only Cole Birchfield, John Vanals, Holy Stickality, Russ Walker, Musical Hell, Emily Grace, Andrew Van Barsen, Emily Stack, Kyle Summers, Mr. B, Janae C, Kyle, Christina Francis, Jessica A, can we reorder these so we get Jessica A, Mr. B, then Janae C?

[31:08] Jess: You know what? It's happening. Skyler, Liz Lim, Corey Wilmarth, Alison Stuller, Rachel Rose Velez, and nothing is certain except Beth and Taxi.

[31:20] Andrew: And all these people are getting so much extra crap on Patreon. They're getting a Glee podcast that you're not getting.

[31:26] Jess: Yeah.

[31:27] Andrew: They're getting commentaries. Aren't you envious of them? They get it every week. And you don't.

[31:31] Jess: Unless you join them.

[31:40] Andrew: So come join us over on Patreon.

[31:43] Jess: All right, let's get back to the show.

[31:46] ♪ Musical number: "I Want to Break Free" — performed by Queen ♪

[32:16] Andrew: I don't even know where to start here, dude. Let's talk about I want to break free as a I want song. I guess. I think it works a little bit like as a general kind of I want adventure in a vaguely big way kind of I want song.

[32:33] Jess: I mean, yeah, it works because the title of the song is I want to break free. All the lyrics are very vague and just kind of I want to break free. I mean, there's not much of a message to it other than just there's something that I want to escape. So it works. I say it even works better than a jukebox musical that I think is significantly better than this one. Mamma Mia, where the I want song there is I have a dream where she's just like, I have a dream, but like very, very vague. And you only know what she wants because she's doing an action on stage. Whereas this is like, oh, it says I want he explains it. All right, that that is an effective.

[33:14] Andrew: I want song. Yeah, I wish it was in garbage. I don't even I can't even say I dislike the song. I think it's one of Queen's better songs, but it kind of it just fits a little bit. It's fine, I guess. I mean, it's fine. Like, yeah, it's a song that exists and I can hear on the radio or pull up whatever I want and then turn the channel because I don't like clean. But yeah, it is a song I got no rhythm. I just keep losing my feet.

[34:05] ♪ Musical number: "Somebody to Love" — performed by Queen ♪

[34:37] Andrew: OK, can we talk about somebody to love and why that song should have been much later in the show?

[34:42] Jess: Yeah, that does not work. I mean, that is they're trying to frame it as her I want song, but no, no, it should have been a duet between the two leads later in the show. Can I say the very, very the the controversial thing I have about Queen and this song specifically? There's a much better song called Somebody to Love by Jefferson's Airplane, and that is the better version of the song Somebody to Love. And yeah, the Queen version sucks donkey dicks.

[35:17] Andrew: I disagree. It's got a lot of great vocal harmonies in it.

[35:20] Jess: It sucks in this show, though.

[35:22] Andrew: Yes, it does. Remember when they sang it in Ella Enchanted and Hathaway sings it?

[35:29] Jess: Yeah.

[35:29] Andrew: Remember when it appeared in Happy Feet?

[35:31] Jess: I remember when a lot of songs appeared in Happy Feet.

[35:37] Andrew: Elijah Wood dances. That's the movie. Yeah, Somebody to Love is just I don't even know what they'd replace this song with, but honestly, it doesn't even need to be here at all. Just remove it and move on to Killer Queen. Like, who cares?

[35:50] Jess: Because Killer Queen is our main villain lady, right? We also already had Scaramouche sing I Want to Break Free as a reprise.

[36:02] Andrew: Yep.

[36:02] Jess: Right before this. What's the point? We could have just used that as like a parallel there. I get it. You want to have a female and give them as many numbers as your male lead. I get it. But Somebody to Love is a very long, very boring, meandering song. If it had some weight behind it, maybe it would be very powerful. But it doesn't have any weight behind it where it's located in the story. It has literally nothing. If you had a little Anne Hathaway singing to a bunch of giants.

[36:32] Andrew: Perfect.

[36:33] Jess: It would have been perfect. But right here, it doesn't work.

[36:36] Andrew: You see, when you got Anne Hathaway singing to giants, perfect.

[36:48] Jess: And then you got Killer Queen in Play the Game.

[37:01] Andrew: Yep.

[37:01] Jess: Which Killer Queen, Killer Queen, I guess, is a villain song, I guess.

[37:10] Andrew: See, Killer Queen is actually my favorite Queen song. Like, it's got some good bass lines in it.

[37:16] Jess: Yeah, I think it feels kind of badass. It's a good song.

[37:22] Andrew: I don't think it's a villain song. I've never seen it as a villain song. Not at all. I think Don't Stop Me Now would have been a better villain song. And I know she sings that in the second act, but very briefly.

[37:34] Jess: Yeah.

[37:35] Andrew: And then they also sing Play the Game, which I have no idea how you can spin that as a villain song. I don't even think they did.

[37:41] Jess: Nope.

[37:41] Andrew: They just kind of sang it. They're like, we have nowhere we can put Play the Game, but it's one of people's favorite songs, so we have to put it in. Where do we put it?

[37:50] Jess: Is it really, though? It's a song that people know, at the very least.

[37:54] Andrew: And I guess if you want this to be two and a half hours long...

[37:58] Jess: We need this show to be three hours long of Queen.

[38:05] Andrew: Hour and a half, jaunt. Under Pressure is a very good song.

[38:12] Jess: I don't like it. They ripped off Vanilla Ice.

[38:15] Andrew: True. Under Pressure, I think, is a great song. I think Somebody to Love probably should have been here, and I don't know where I would have put Under Pressure.

[38:23] Jess: I don't think it works as a romance number, for one.

[38:27] Andrew: Well, it's not a romance number, is the thing.

[38:30] Jess: And they try to frame it kind of like it is?

[38:33] Andrew: It's, yeah, I don't know. Also, Under Pressure, like, I don't know, it's not even really a Queen song. It's a Freddie Mercury and David Bowie song, isn't it? Like, I've always seen it that way.

[38:51] Jess: Yeah.

[38:52] Andrew: Queen just gets to claim that song, I guess.

[38:53] Jess: No, it's a Smash Mouth song.

[38:55] Andrew: Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, it's a Smash Mouth.

[38:58] Jess: They, real talk, I don't much like the song to begin with, but Smash Mouth does a dogshit cover for it, and it was specifically used in a Tim Allen movie called Zoom.

[39:11] Andrew: And they're like,

[39:11] Jess: Yes, I know, I know.

[39:13] Andrew: Ba-da-da, ba-da-da.

[39:15] Jess: Yeah, there's actually a better Smash Mouth cover of it by Neil Cicierego.

[39:21] Andrew: Yes.

[39:22] Jess: And I think he literally just puts this all-star vocals over Under Pressure, and it's great.

[39:31] Andrew: Yes, that is a better all-star version of Under Pressure.

[39:35] Jess: Yes, and it's also a better version than what we have here, because, wow.

[39:41] Andrew: Damn, yeah, bad. Let's talk about Seven Seas Array.

[39:45] Jess: Seven Seas Array is my favorite Queen song.

[39:48] Andrew: I have no idea what it's supposed to mean in this show.

[39:51] Jess: Yeah, I was gonna ask you.

[39:53] Andrew: That's the reason why I brought it up.

[39:57] Jess: They keep bringing up that they're gonna send people to the Seven Seas of Rye.

[40:01] Andrew: I don't even think the Seven Seas of Rye has a meaning to begin with, but yeah, what it's used as in this is like, it's like a prison where they brainwash people?

[40:12] Jess: It's like Urintown, where it's like, hey, you're gonna go to Urintown, then they just kill you. Like, kinda like that?

[40:18] Andrew: Honestly, if you have to watch anything from this show, this cover of Seven Seas of Rye is not that bad.

[40:29] Jess: I guess that's the best I've got.

[40:31] Andrew: Wow, Andrew's bringing all the praise.

[40:34] Jess: I got the high praise.

[40:35] Andrew: This is the high point of the show.

[40:38] Jess: After this, there's literally nothing to look forward to.

[40:41] Andrew: Everything else is terrible.

[40:43] Jess: Um, yeah, yeah, can't say anything.

[40:49] Andrew: I want to talk about how the Killer Queen sings Fat Bottom Girls and Don't Stop Me Now as like a pair, like a mashup together.

[40:58] Jess: It's god-awful.

[40:59] Andrew: Those are like-

[40:59] Jess: Fat Bottom Girls is like probably the worst Queen song other than Bicycle Race, in my opinion.

[41:06] Andrew: You see, I'm not a fan of country, and this is their most country song.

[41:10] Jess: Yeah, I also just hate the lyrics to it.

[41:14] Andrew: Yeah, yeah.

[41:15] Jess: I don't usually care about lyrics, but when I hear Freddie Mercury singing about Fat Bottomed Girls, I can't help but feel like it's disingenuous.

[41:26] Andrew: Hey, he was bisexual. He could have been into some Fat Bottom Girls.

[41:30] Jess: Sure, but he also didn't write this song. Brian May wrote this song.

[41:35] Andrew: What?

[41:40] Jess: Yeah, this song is god-awful, and just seeing a woman, like, it is kind of cool to see a bigger woman reclaim it as like something for her own, but also, I don't like it. It's not good. It's just bad.

[41:53] Andrew: It's an objectification song, for one, and then you claim it as like this evil character as a joke of look at how big and fat her ass is. I don't get it.

[42:01] Jess: I don't get it.

[42:03] Andrew: Then she goes into Don't Stop Me Now, which is another Queen song that is just overplayed and terrible.

[42:09] Jess: Having a good time, having a good time.

[42:13] Andrew: It was only used good once, and that was in Shaun of the Dead, and now we can never use that song again.

[42:18] Jess: Yeah, yeah.

[42:20] Andrew: If I remember right, they don't even play the whole song.

[42:23] Jess: No, they play it for like a little bit, have a little joke about it.

[42:26] Andrew: Which honestly seems weird to me. It's like, isn't this one of the more popular Queen songs? You're not gonna do the whole thing, really?

[42:30] Jess: Andrew, we can't make it four hours long.

[42:39] Andrew: We gotta keep it at a solid three.

[42:42] Jess: Uh, okay. So we gotta talk about like just the ending chunk where it's like, we will rock you into We Are The Champions, into the encore of Be Help Bohemian Rhapsody.

[42:53] Andrew: Yeah, which, um, really? Oh, God.

[42:56] Jess: While they save the day through the power of rock.

[43:00] Andrew: Fucking, it's just the end of the SpongeBob movie.

[43:04] Jess: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[43:06] Andrew: God damn it! Just, the helmets can't handle this level of rock and roll!

[43:15] Jess: You see, that feels like deserved in the SpongeBob movie, because SpongeBob had completed his arc and made it there and done all the things he was supposed to. It's also, it's just a gag. That's just sprinkles.

[43:26] Andrew: It's just sprinkles on top of it. Whereas this, this is like the actual plot. It's like, this is what is happening right now.

[43:30] Jess: Andrew, it wouldn't be too much to ask if, since this came out two years before the SpongeBob movie, maybe the SpongeBob movie ripped off We Will Rock You.

[43:45] Andrew: I don't think, I mean, I don't think anyone saw this that would have been involved in the SpongeBob movie. But even if they did, they still did a better job with it. So I'm fine with it.

[43:55] Jess: Fair enough.

[43:56] Andrew: It's all about execution.

[43:57] Jess: It really, is that song? I don't remember that song being in this show.

[44:01] Andrew: What?

[44:02] Jess: I want to rock, rock.

[44:04] Andrew: That's not a Queen song.

[44:05] Jess: Why did I think that was a Queen song?

[44:07] Andrew: Because you don't know Queen's music.

[44:09] Jess: I know the ones I don't like.

[44:11] Andrew: I Want to Rock is a Twisted Sister song.

[44:14] Jess: Oh, I learned something new today, guys. I'm just going to cut that out so you don't know I'm a stupid boy.

[44:20] Andrew: I'm also not sure if I'm correct on that. I just like Twisted Sister, so I'm just going to name drop them.

[44:28] Jess: All right. So, Andrew, what is your overall thoughts on Twisted Sister's most recent album?

[44:37] Andrew: I don't know what their most recent album is, but I just like that it's like fronted by a drag queen and no one mentions it.

[44:44] Jess: What is your thoughts on We Will Rock You and your cheese rating?

[44:48] Andrew: Oh, good God. It's horrendous. I feel bad giving it any kind of cheese. Um, like I really dislike it.

[44:57] Jess: And I'm not even...

[44:58] Andrew: Jess is going to say he hates it because Queen's music sucks.

[45:01] Jess: I don't even think that. I think Queen's music is generally overall, on average, pretty good. And this is the worst thing that I've watched in a while.

[45:10] Andrew: Is it the worst thing you've ever watched on this show?

[45:13] Jess: No, that is not the case.

[45:14] Andrew: What is the worst thing you've watched on the show?

[45:16] Jess: Oh, my goodness. I can't remember. There was a really bad one, but we'll get back to that.

[45:21] Andrew: Do you have an answer?

[45:23] Jess: When we get to episode 100, we're gonna have to do another tier list.

[45:25] Andrew: That's literally two weeks away, dude. You don't have much time.

[45:27] Jess: I don't have much time, but we're gonna... I need like a list of all of our episodes for it.

[45:34] Andrew: Thank you. Um, we're gonna have to do another tier list for our fans.

[45:39] Jess: I think they actually liked the last one we did.

[45:40] Andrew: Yeah, that might be a patron-only thing, though.

[45:43] Jess: This 100 episode one, I think might be a patron-only.

[45:47] Andrew: Oh, don't worry. Everybody gets the Hamilton episode, though.

[45:49] Jess: Yeah, everyone will get the Hamilton episode.

[45:51] Andrew: Which is what they really want.

[45:53] Jess: That's everything people want.

[45:55] Andrew: Okay, so as far as overall thoughts, it's not good. The book is terrible. The music is not used properly, and you can get better versions of this music readily available anywhere because Freddie Mercury sings these songs.

[46:11] Jess: And, I mean, good God. Is anyone gonna do better than him? Just listen to him do it.

[46:17] Andrew: He's not... No one's gonna do better.

[46:19] Jess: Um, cheese... I don't want to give this a cheese. This is like, um... This is like if someone took, like, regular cheddar cheese that was pretty good, and they threw it in a dumpster and let it get moldy, and then they took it out and they're like, yeah, do you want to have some of this cheddar cheese? I know how much you love cheddar cheese. Isn't cheddar cheese delicious? And I look at it and it's like, wow, that cheddar cheese is like moldy, and it looks like it's been in the garbage. Um, and that's this.

[46:53] Andrew: Well, I think it's very bad. I feel like I don't need to explain that it's very bad any further than that. Um, I think my smooth brain comparison, um, earlier in the episode is a very apt description of who this is made for. Which I guess we're really sorry if you liked this, but...

[47:12] Jess: Or the Rise of Skywalker. Enjoy your wrong opinions, people.

[47:17] Andrew: Um... I'm gonna be fully honest with you, though. I don't think anyone in our audience actually likes this show.

[47:22] Jess: I don't know how you could like this, is my real thoughts.

[47:29] Andrew: You never know. We could have that one per... We got people that got mad at us on how we hated on cats, so...

[47:36] Jess: Which is the most easy of easy targets.

[47:39] Andrew: Cats... I could... Cats is like a cultural phenomenon, though. People do like cats.

[47:44] Jess: How does anyone... No one likes this, okay? Just, no one likes this.

[47:47] Andrew: Just admit it to yourself. You don't like this show.

[47:51] Jess: You don't!

[47:52] Andrew: And even if you claim you do, you're joking.

[47:57] Jess: My cheese rating is... I'm actually pretty proud of this, so...

[48:02] Andrew: Oh, sure, sure.

[48:03] Jess: Um, my cheese rating is... You know when you go to a diner and you see under the glass all the plastic foods that they keep there just to make it look like they always have fresh food ready? With just a chunk of cheese that looks just realistic enough for you to think it's cheese. And then your dad, your boomer dad, comes and picks it up and he's like, I want this at home because I used to have one of these in my house as a kid and if I put this in my house when I'm... Right now, I'll feel like a kid again. And then you put it in there and then your wife and kids are all like, Why the fuck was this just sitting here? It smells, it's meldy, it looks like garbage, what the fuck are you doing? And he's like, I like it because it reminds me of my childhood youth and it isn't going anywhere else. I'm beating my wife. Don't you dare try to bring your feminist ways onto me. And that's my cheese rating.

[48:57] Andrew: A little bit over the top, but you know what? I can't disagree.

[49:04] Jess: You know who else can't disagree? Our wonderful patrons.

[49:07] Andrew: You betcha. Thank you guys for listening. We love you guys so much. Please follow us on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, at MusicalsWithCheese. Please leave us an iTunes review. We really want to get more of those. It's the only way people can like us anymore. We just need more iTunes reviews. Give us more, please.

[49:27] Jess: Andrew is literally jerking himself off.

[49:32] Andrew: We're on Twitter, at Cheesy Musicals. Our Patreon is MusicalsWithCheese. Go send us some love there. We've got a Glee podcast. We're going to have the tier list when we hit episode 100. There's going to be a lot of cool shit on there coming up. Our Instagram is MusicalsWithCheese. Our YouTube page is MusicalsWithCheese. Our patron-only podcast is GleeWithCheese. Go check that out. Email us at musicaltheaterlives@gmail.com. We tend to reply if it's an interesting email. So send us our emails. If we don't reply, your email was not interesting.

[50:02] Jess: Yeah. Our title card was written by Jo-

[50:06] Andrew: Our title card was created by Jolene Casco. Follow her on Instagram, at Jolene Casco.

[50:12] Jess: All right, guys. Andrew, is there anything else you got left to say?

[50:16] Andrew: Don't watch this.

[50:17] Jess: Don't- don't do it to yourself.

[50:19] Andrew: I'm gonna take you home tonight.

[50:23] Jess: I'm gonna sign that red firelight.

[50:29] Andrew: Oh, we're gonna give it all we got.

[50:32] Jess: Musical Cheese is how you make that world go round.

[50:36] Andrew: Make the world go round.

[50:37] Jess: I'm done.