This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:03] Liz Eston: Here I'll go again. I'm imagining a world outside. I'm like the wanna dreaming again of when I'll get a chance. There's a world that understands where you don't hear the whispers in the room. You walk in and they dreaming again. All I need is a chance. And I feel my fear still at the time to sweat and see.

[0:32] Liz Eston: Hello and welcome back, patrons, to our new episode of Patreon with Cheese. We've left the realm of the Shmigadoon, and I am joined as always by my wonderful Patreon cheese co-host, Liz Eston. Hello Liz.

[0:44] Liz Eston: Hello, I'm good, I think. I don't know.

[0:47] Jess: You think?

[0:48] Liz Eston: I don't know. You know what? I discovered my front tail. That's how I used the bathroom, so I'm having a pretty good day.

[0:54] Jess: I don't have a front tail.

[0:56] Liz Eston: I mean, it's internalized, but it's kinda there, I guess. We're starting this off on a real, real high note.

[1:03] Jess: Oh god. Um, so we were lucky enough to watch Cinderella on Amazon Prime, starring Miss Cabello, Camila Cabello.

[1:16] Liz Eston: Okay.

[1:17] Jess: Camila Cabello.

[1:18] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[1:18] Jess: And Idina Menzel and James Corden Blue and Discount Sean Mendes.

[1:26] Liz Eston: And Mini Driver, and the best part of the Mamma Mia movies, Pierce Brosnan.

[1:31] Jess: Yeah. There's a lot of kings being dragged in this movie, is what we're saying.

[1:35] Liz Eston: There's a lot of dragging happening, yeah.

[1:38] Jess: Yeah, not a single drag in though.

[1:40] Liz Eston: Live drinking, though.

[1:41] Jess: But they don't have the budget for that, so Oh, and Billy Porter.

[1:44] Liz Eston: Oh yeah, he's in the movie for like two minutes.

[1:46] Jess: That's great.

[1:47] Liz Eston: But he's so good in those two minutes.

[1:48] Jess: I know, he's so good. I felt like, uh, alive, I felt something.

[1:54] Liz Eston: Yeah, I was actually excited for a minute, and then James Corden showed up and so how about we start with positives?

[2:03] Jess: Are there any?

[2:05] Liz Eston: Uh, there's a couple.

[2:06] Jess: I know. There's not many, but I'm kidding. I think Idina Menzel is good.

[2:11] Liz Eston: I agreed. She did great.

[2:12] Jess: I think "Material Girl" is the strongest random song that doesn't make sense.

[2:17] Liz Eston: Yes, if we're going by that criteria, I agree.

[2:20] Jess: Um, I like the way that she played it and the reframing of the evil stepmother character. I thought all of that was interesting.

[2:27] Liz Eston: Yeah, I like how she was kind of like sympathetic towards her, but just saw a lot in her. I like that aspect of it.

[2:36] Jess: Uh-huh. And a jealousy of it. Like, she has the confidence to aspire for more, and she tried and failed and hasn't been brave enough since. And that was nice.

[2:45] Liz Eston: And I can see why Cinderella's dad would want to fuck Idina Menzel. Like, it makes sense to me.

[2:50] Jess: Yeah. I mean, given like half a chance, you know.

[2:54] Liz Eston: Yeah, absolutely. Um, the production design, meaning the castles they found, they're all very practical locations used very, very well.

[3:05] Jess: Yeah. That looks good. I think the town square looked good too. It didn't look like a set.

[3:10] Liz Eston: Yeah, it looked like a place people actually go shopping.

[3:15] Jess: And I think the costumes aren't bad. They are theater good, if that makes sense.

[3:19] Liz Eston: They're like, they're not like realistic, but they work.

[3:22] Jess: Yeah, like Cinderella's dress during the ball. I still have questions about it. Like, I don't understand it.

[3:27] Liz Eston: Okay, I was about to say I'm not one to comment on fashion design. I remember when that 20 whatever year Beauty and the Beast movie came out, and they're like, the dress is ugly, and I'm like, oh, it's a dress. Here I'm like, the dress is ugly.

[3:39] Jess: I don't mind the top of it. I think the skirt is not flattering to the hips.

[3:46] Liz Eston: They make them look bigger.

[3:49] Jess: Because of the jetting fabric on the hips, like that is a disaster waiting to happen. I mean, I don't know. I'm also bad at fashion. I wear t-shirts and concert t-shirts and converse on a daily basis, so like no judgment on whoever designed that dress, but it could have been better.

[4:05] Liz Eston: Also, why is she wearing sleeves instead of gloves? It's just weird.

[4:10] Jess: It's weird. There's so much weird. Billy Porter, like gave her what she wanted.

[4:15] Liz Eston: Um, I started watching this three different occasions. This is probably one of the roughest things I've ever had to watch for the show.

[4:24] Jess: Only because, like, there's nothing new. There's not gonna be a surprise, really. Uh, we all kind of know what this story is, and they're not trying to reinvent the wheel here as much as the ads try to make you think it is.

[4:36] Liz Eston: Um, so I just found no drive to finish it. Um, I finished it literally a half hour ago. I it's like cramming for a test right beforehand, and right now I'm just still in the warmth of that horror. The TV is still warm for me dealing with this.

[4:53] Jess: Um god, yeah. I watched it the day it came out just to get it over with, and then I watched it on Monday just to also get it over with, and it was painful both times.

[5:06] Liz Eston: I think I have a higher tolerance for these things though. So I was like, I kinda got through it.

[5:10] Jess: Yeah, yeah. This is not the worst thing ever. Like, let's just say this. Not I think the hyperbole around it being like one of the worst things that come out this year, absolutely not.

[5:19] Liz Eston: Like, I mean, it peaks with really bad moments, but it's mostly just mediocre and boring.

[5:25] Jess: Yeah, like I was mostly bored. I was never like cringing. It's like there's a scene in Space Jam 2 where Porky Pig starts rapping. That was the worst thing I've seen this year. Far none. That scene.

[5:35] Liz Eston: The movie's like, okay. If you're a kid, go watch it. But like...

[5:39] Jess: Especially I don't mean to get on my Space Jam 2 soapbox. Um, I live in Detroit. Space Jam means a lot to a lot of black kids, and I happen to have been around a lot of younger children because I was helping teach online classes when that movie came out, and they loved Space Jam 2. They love seeing a black family in power being able to tell a story, and I will forever defend Space Jam 2 for what that meant to those kids.

[6:06] Liz Eston: I yeah, that that's great. It's a great thing to hear.

[6:08] Jess: I also got kinda got that feeling. Like I am I'm sure like lots of black kids are just like thrilled that the main character looks like them.

[6:16] Liz Eston: Like, yes.

[6:18] Jess: And that it's not like a black pain story, like even...

[6:18] Liz Eston: Okay. Did you ever watch a film um forced down your throat by like the schools called My Friend Martin?

[6:29] Jess: No.

[6:30] Liz Eston: Okay, let me let me throw the we're well we'll get back to Cinderella, don't worry. Let me tell you what the pitch of this movie is.

[6:37] Jess: Okay.

[6:38] Liz Eston: Three kids, one black, one Puerto Rican, and one white kid, all go back in time and they get to be there for all Martin Luther King's big life events.

[6:49] Jess: This is familiar to me.

[6:50] Liz Eston: Okay. And they're like, Oh, here's him as a kid, and oh, here's him at the bus boycott, oh, here's him at the March on Washington. And they're like, Man, he did so many great things. Oh no, he was assassinated. Well, we gotta pull him out of that time and save him. So they get little boy, Michael. Sorry, little boy, Martin Luther King. Bring him back to the present, and we see the world and how it would have looked if Martin Luther King didn't exist. Or every it's like post-apocalyptic. And Martin Luther King is like, well, I guess I gotta go back in time and die. And we see him walk through the door and get shot.

[7:31] Jess: And I'm like, but not even like this film about how great Martin Luther King is. We can't be spared the idea of him getting murdered.

[7:39] Liz Eston: Oh my god. It's a cartoon too. This isn't like a live action thing. You could have just not shown it.

[7:45] Jess: Yeah, this is really bad. And every year on Martin Luther King Day, they'd roll in the fucking TVs and be like...

[7:52] Liz Eston: Oh my god.

[7:54] Jess: I thought I watched frickin' I watched a movie some Flowers for Algernon in middle school, and I thought that was bad to give show to children.

[8:03] Liz Eston: There was one in middle school that was like a rite of passage film where once you got to this class, you got to watch it. And it was Apocalypto in our world history class.

[8:13] Jess: And you got to see a lady's vagina and a baby come out of it.

[8:17] Liz Eston: Yeah, I watched Beowulf in high school. There's a lot of boobs in that movie.

[8:21] Jess: Censored boobs. There's like a lot of Austin Power censorship in that movie.

[8:25] Liz Eston: There is. It's a very strange movie.

[8:26] Jess: Yeah, Robert Zemeckis. What were you doing?

[8:28] Liz Eston: I don't know. Anyway, Cinderella.

[8:32] Jess: Uh, what did you think of Camila Cabello?

[8:36] Liz Eston: Uh, she's trying. I've got this is a thing I find with actors, especially new actors. I don't know where she comes from. I am is she a Disney Channel person?

[8:48] Jess: She was on the I believe she was on the American route.

[8:52] Liz Eston: No, no, that was Little Mix. Uh no, she was just in a pop group.

[8:56] Jess: She's in Fifth Harmony.

[8:58] Liz Eston: That makes sense. She was the first one to leave the group to do a solo career because she was the most popular.

[9:03] Jess: So she was the Beyoncé of the group.

[9:05] Liz Eston: Yeah, she's the Beyoncé of the group. Uh, and now she's most famous for taking walks with Shawn Mendes in the street.

[9:13] Jess: Alright, alright, alright. This all makes sense. There's a thing with new actors, be it that they're young and inexperienced, or older and trying something out, where they are terrified of looking bad.

[9:26] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[9:26] Jess: Meaning they have to look a hundred percent perfect in every scene, and if there's a laugh, they need to be the one getting it. And that was the vibe I got. Where she never wanted to be in the background. There's stories I hear about Madonna when she was just starting her acting career where she had her own lighting and makeup people to design every set around the DP to make sure she always looked 100 percent. And I get that vibe here from Camila Cabello, where she is not into it the same way. She's embarrassed to be goofy. Where you've got people that are very secure, like Pierce Brosnan and Mini Driver that's like, yeah, I'm here for the camp.

[10:06] Liz Eston: Mini Driver was the best part of that Phantom movie.

[10:09] Jess: She knew what she was in. She knew it was up.

[10:11] Liz Eston: Yeah, she knows how to play the humor perfectly.

[10:13] Jess: And same with Pierce Brosnan. He now knows what to do with his voice.

[10:17] Liz Eston: Makes fun of his own parable singing.

[10:19] Jess: It's amazing.

[10:20] Liz Eston: Exactly. And I will give credit-ish to the very bland prince. He knows when to kind of step back and when the laugh is his and when the moment's his and when it's not. I think he does a half decent job.

[10:34] Jess: Not so I don't remember this actor's name.

[10:36] Liz Eston: I Nope.

[10:37] Jess: I uh honestly he'll probably see him in something down the line and like him in it better. But I think what with what he's given, the prince character is Cinderella adaptations doesn't really get much to work with.

[10:49] Liz Eston: He's a thing to be he's a conquest in a way.

[10:53] Jess: Yeah, exactly. He's not a character. He's a unless you're watching Cinderella 3, A Twist in Time.

[10:58] Liz Eston: Which is one of the best Cinderella adaptations.

[11:00] Jess: Yes. Don't at me.

[11:03] Liz Eston: Like, he's not a character. He's like a nah, he's literally an object at this point.

[11:08] Jess: Yeah, he's an object. He's an obtainable thing. The king has more of an arc than he does.

[11:14] Liz Eston: He doesn't have an arc. His arc is to realize that he doesn't have to listen to his own dad.

[11:18] Jess: Which, like, I know Pierce Brosnan is your dad and he's the king, but like, don't listen to Pierce Brosnan.

[11:24] Liz Eston: It's not hard.

[11:25] Jess: No. I will say, if the only one that I really thought yeah, I get you, was the sister character, the frustrated sister character.

[11:34] Liz Eston: She was like the best character in this.

[11:36] Jess: I related to her so much.

[11:38] Liz Eston: I love it. I wish they didn't give her a Karen haircut though. She did not need that haircut.

[11:42] Jess: I loved her though. I loved in every scene she was pointing out a problem with the kingdom. She's like, is this a good time to point out we have very high rates of poverty? I have a plan that'll help us, like, with the lower income districts, and they're like, oh, we don't care, we gotta have a ball. You're a lady, you're not allowed to do diplomacy, which connects the whole Cinderella can't open up business because she's a woman thing. But wouldn't it have been great if she fell in love with the sister and stuff?

[12:09] Liz Eston: That would have been so much better.

[12:12] Jess: No one ever listens to my pitches.

[12:15] Jess: Everyone listen to this. Someone make a Cinderella movie where she falls in love with a princess instead of a prince. Someone's like they have the ball, but she's like not interested in the prince. She's totally into the princess, and then we have two queens ruling the land. That'd be great. I love that. Give that to the children. But I just I recently watched Ella Enchanted again. Um also they sing somebody to love there, which is much better. And Mandy Moore's in that too. The more I think. Yeah, she's the fairy who messes everything up.

[12:47] Liz Eston: Oh no.

[12:47] Jess: No, she isn't. She's just some girl that's also in the movie.

[12:51] Liz Eston: Oh yeah.

[12:52] Jess: Also how clean to that movie. It's crazy. Um yeah, that's much better than this. Um that movie knows what it is. This film decidedly does not know what it is. It's like trying to appeal to six markets while not appealing to any of them.

[13:07] Liz Eston: Apparently it did though, because remember, this is the number one streaming movie at the moment, and it's the most downloaded and most reacted to musical of 2021.

[13:16] Jess: Thanks. And part of me gets it. Like, you know these songs, you know these people, you know the story. You know what's gonna happen. There's no shock value. You can show it to your kids and not worry about what's gonna happen. I mean, they talk about their penises a lot for a film about Cinderella, but whatever.

[13:33] Liz Eston: That's true. They don't say the word penis though, they say front tail, so it's okay.

[13:36] Jess: Yeah, no, it isn't. It's not. Stop. Don't defend this movie, Liz.

[13:41] Liz Eston: No, I'm not gonna. I thought we were on the same side here.

[13:43] Jess: No, I will not have this slander put in my name. I refuse to defend this film. But then again, if you think about it, we are part of the problem. Um, I did hate watch this, and I spent three times trying to hate watch it.

[13:57] Liz Eston: Yeah, I watched it twice, and it was a hate watch, and that's the big issue with these types of movies is people will watch them out of morbid curiosity, but it gets views, gives producers money, and then they make more, and then people get more mad.

[14:11] Jess: Yes, you are completely correct here. That's why there's three Kissing Booth movies, guys.

[14:15] Liz Eston: It's your fault for watching the first one and hating on it.

[14:19] Jess: Is that how it works?

[14:20] Liz Eston: What's a Kissing Booth? I've never heard of it.

[14:21] Jess: Uh it's a teen Netflix rom-com based on a Wattpad fan fiction that got turned to a book.

[14:27] Liz Eston: That's all you need to know.

[14:28] Jess: So Fifty Shades, got it.

[14:30] Liz Eston: Yeah, but that was on fanfiction.net. It was classy.

[14:35] Jess: Okay, what's the difference between Wattpad and fanfiction and then an Archive of Our Own?

[14:39] Liz Eston: Uh Archive of Our Own is the classiest of the three fanfiction websites.

[14:44] Jess: My girlfriend showed me some dirty stuff on there. It's like is it really that classy?

[14:48] Liz Eston: Well, they actually let you put the dirty stuff on there.

[14:50] Jess: Fanfiction.net just bans it.

[14:52] Liz Eston: So what?

[14:53] Jess: Yeah, they have the internet.

[14:55] Liz Eston: Yeah, they have like very big moderating on fanfiction.net. Uh and Wattpad is just uh there's a lot of bad stuff on Wattpad.

[15:03] Jess: Bad as in like not of quality or dirty?

[15:06] Liz Eston: Not of quality, and also possibly dirty. Uh there's a big subgenre on Wattpad. There was for a time anyway, of One Direction during the purge, uh, which was very interesting.

[15:17] Jess: And I watched a Jenny Nicholson video about a Wattpad fanfiction called Trapped on an Island with Josh Hutcherson. That's the actual title. It's that grammatically incorrect. But yeah.

[15:27] Liz Eston: So I'm not gonna lie. So if I wanted to write a fanfiction about uh uh Scarlett Johansson's character, what's the what's her name?

[15:36] Jess: Black Widow giving the Hulk a rim job.

[15:39] Liz Eston: I would not be allowed to put it on fanfiction.net, but I wouldn't be allowed to put it on Archive of Our Own and Wattpad.

[15:45] Jess: Yes, absolutely.

[15:47] Liz Eston: Okay, okay. I hope you haven't written that yet.

[15:49] Jess: I mean, I got some interested investors here.

[15:54] Liz Eston: Okay.

[15:55] Jess: Anyway. What would be the most sad response to that question?

[15:59] Liz Eston: I think I knocked it out.

[16:01] Jess: I'm glad.

[16:02] Liz Eston: Oh god. My editors need to get back with me, but I think we might have something here, Liz.

[16:09] Jess: Okay. I'm so proud of her. I mean, how would she do it? Like I don't I I don't want to think about that.

[16:18] Liz Eston: Alright, okay, fine. You want to talk about Cinderella?

[16:21] Jess: Do you have more to say here?

[16:22] Liz Eston: Billy Porter.

[16:23] Jess: Okay. I mean that's the goal here. Speaking of what happened with Billy Porter and the scene with Camila Cabello, this is the worst part because it feels like they're fighting each other for the main attention of the scene.

[16:35] Liz Eston: Oh yeah.

[16:35] Jess: And I'm wondering if you felt that too, or if that was just all in my head.

[16:39] Liz Eston: I think uh in the moment I wasn't even paying attention to Camila Cabello, so I can't even um she doesn't like to be in the sidelines, I don't think. At least that was the vibe I got from the scene.

[16:49] Jess: I got the vibe from that her in general. Um honestly I couldn't corroborate that because I wasn't paying attention to Camila Cabello in that scene at all. I was only paying attention to Billy Porter, 'cause he's the best part of this movie and he was saving me from the pain I was feeling at that point.

[17:05] Liz Eston: But I hated I hate that song.

[17:07] Jess: When you wish upon a star.

[17:10] Liz Eston: It's just really generic.

[17:11] Jess: Like all the songs are generic. That's literally the song was used in one of the Scooby-Doo movies. Best not to use it in your movie musical.

[17:19] Liz Eston: Yeah, Ella Enchanted used Somebody to Love already. Don't try to step on that.

[17:23] Jess: We're kinda done with Queen.

[17:27] Liz Eston: We're done with that. Rhythm Nation was the opener.

[17:31] Jess: Who's that by?

[17:32] Liz Eston: Janet Jackson.

[17:33] Jess: Oh.

[17:34] Liz Eston: Surprised I didn't use any of her brother's work.

[17:36] Jess: I'm not surprised. It's not good for optics these days.

[17:40] Liz Eston: What are you talking about? There's about to be a Broadway musical about Michael Jackson coming soon.

[17:44] Jess: Oh, that's true. I guess we're over at that now.

[17:47] Liz Eston: Anyway.

[17:49] Jess: Oh no. I don't know about these optics. HBO just added back all the Harry Potter movies, so I don't know how people were feeling again.

[17:56] Liz Eston: I don't know. Are they still making that third Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them thing with Mads Mikkelsen taking over for Johnny Depp?

[18:04] Jess: Uh I think the second one did so bad it's kind of up in the air.

[18:09] Liz Eston: I think they're filming it.

[18:10] Jess: I think it's being filmed right now.

[18:12] Liz Eston: Oh good lord.

[18:14] Jess: Oh I don't know.

[18:16] Liz Eston: Why don't you need five of these?

[18:17] Jess: You don't need five of these.

[18:18] Liz Eston: I like the first one is the thing.

[18:20] Jess: I really actually enjoyed the first one quite a bit.

[18:23] Liz Eston: And the second one's terrible.

[18:24] Jess: Oh yeah.

[18:25] Liz Eston: I've only seen the second one.

[18:26] Jess: I haven't seen the first one, but the first one's fine.

[18:28] Liz Eston: It's fine.

[18:30] Jess: I saw it double featured with Rogue One, and I enjoyed it much more than Rogue One. Let me just say it like that.

[18:34] Liz Eston: Okay, that's yeah, Rogue One is pretty bland though.

[18:38] Jess: Oh, you think so too? I feel like that's like a controversial opinion nowadays.

[18:43] Liz Eston: Um I my Rogue One is a fine movie.

[18:47] Jess: Like I enjoyed it, but I do I remember a lot of it? No.

[18:51] Liz Eston: Do you remember Bull Borgolit?

[18:54] Jess: I don't remember. I only remember the tentacle creature that attacks Riz Ahmed.

[18:58] Liz Eston: No, I don't remember that at all.

[19:00] Jess: That's the best part. He's like, he just attacks it's uh the most wackadoo scene in the entire movie that I was like, why didn't this get cut?

[19:08] Liz Eston: I just remember Riz Ahmed being in it. That's all I remember.

[19:11] Jess: Yeah. And I remember the last scene where Diego Luna and Felicity Jones, I think that's her name, are like about to die, and then the movie cuts to a weird CG Leia, and that's all I remember.

[19:22] Liz Eston: Um, you forgot Darth Vader, he went down a hallway.

[19:37] Jess: Darth Vader doesn't fight people in this timeline.

[19:42] Liz Eston: It would have been so much cooler if he just kind of like Stormtrooper, like literally just the opening of A New Hope again.

[19:47] Jess: Yeah, let's just recreate the opening of A New Hope. That's fine.

[19:49] Liz Eston: I don't like him using his lightsaber.

[19:52] Jess: It would have been much cooler if he just used the Force and just everyone flew up and then he's like, alright, I'm done with that. Like he doesn't have to pull out the lightsaber.

[19:57] Liz Eston: Or he like simultaneously Force chokes a guy and then tosses another guy in the air.

[20:03] Jess: Like that would have been great. Like keep it physical.

[20:06] Liz Eston: Save lightsabers aren't that cool, guys.

[20:09] Jess: We can all we all have After Effects. The novelty is worn off.

[20:13] Liz Eston: That's yeah, we all have After Effects and we all have YouTube to teach us how to make lightsabers.

[20:17] Jess: So just like, yeah.

[20:19] Liz Eston: If there is one thing the sequel trilogy gave us, it's that they emit light in the scene now.

[20:23] Jess: They actually use like an actual like oh yeah, LED sword, so it shines on their face.

[20:29] Liz Eston: I like that.

[20:29] Jess: That's it. That's the one good thing that oh, and The Last Jedi, which is the best Star Wars movie ever made.

[20:34] Liz Eston: I won't go there.

[20:35] Jess: I will.

[20:36] Liz Eston: I would say it's a good movie.

[20:39] Jess: I'm a defender.

[20:40] Liz Eston: Yeah, that's fine.

[20:41] Jess: Is there anything good to talk about Cinderella anymore?

[20:45] Liz Eston: Like, um was there any musical number that stood out to you as really, really good?

[20:51] Jess: No.

[20:52] Liz Eston: There I'm the Town Crier came out, I was like, alright, I'll watch it.

[20:57] Jess: I love this community theater discount Hamilton they were throwing at us.

[21:01] Liz Eston: I loved it. I thought the Town Crier had good energy. It was like, oh god, I don't hate myself right now with this discount.

[21:08] Jess: He should have been the prince.

[21:09] Liz Eston: Yeah, he should have been the prince.

[21:11] Jess: He would have been a great prince.

[21:12] Liz Eston: He actually has charisma. No offense to the other dude, but dear god, you have nothing to work with.

[21:21] Jess: Material Girl is pretty good.

[21:23] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[21:23] Jess: I like the stepsisters. Anytime they were on screen, I was enjoying myself.

[21:27] Liz Eston: Oh yeah, and it's just a chick from Hairspray Live. It's one of the head one of the stepsisters.

[21:30] Jess: Oh, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

[21:34] Liz Eston: Yeah, she's great, and she did a great job of being just like with her little one-off jokes, like, okay, she's actually funny.

[21:41] Jess: And they never steal the show, they never hold too long on them.

[21:44] Liz Eston: Unlike the rats when they become men, where it's just like, oh, we're just sticking with them for a bit, are we?

[21:51] Jess: There's a during the ball scene after they dance and sing an Ed Sheeran song that they play at every wedding now.

[21:57] Liz Eston: Oh dear God.

[21:59] Jess: What song was that?

[22:00] Liz Eston: That was an Ed Sheeran song?

[22:01] Jess: I uh I am disconnected from the culture, Liz.

[22:05] Liz Eston: It's thinking out loud, but different essentially.

[22:09] Jess: But they're on a romantic montage and they keep cutting to the rats doing random stuff.

[22:17] Liz Eston: And it's terrible.

[22:18] Jess: Like there's a part where they're like they're they cut to some other prince walking, and then they cut to one of the rats talking to the horse, being as like blink if you understand me. I'm like, what does this add to the movie?

[22:30] Liz Eston: Nothing.

[22:30] Jess: Nothing at all.

[22:32] Liz Eston: Let's talk about cinematography for a minute.

[22:34] Jess: Uh let this felt film school-y to me.

[22:38] Liz Eston: Yeah, it did.

[22:39] Jess: I think I wrote that in my initial tweet. And I'm trying to figure out what I meant by that, because it is a vibe that you get.

[22:45] Liz Eston: Um, and I think as I finished it, I come to terms with it. They shot on the Alexa Mini, which is a very small camera.

[22:53] Jess: And they shot some pickups with the Red X, which is even smaller.

[22:56] Liz Eston: It looks like they just threw it on a gimbal and said, just do the scene and we'll figure out.

[23:00] Jess: But we're gonna make sure every shot is moving.

[23:03] Liz Eston: But yeah.

[23:04] Jess: You see the footsteps of the cameraman almost with every take, and it doesn't look great.

[23:10] Liz Eston: Um, it feels like someone just bought a Ronin S and was like, I'm gonna use it for every shot.

[23:16] Jess: You know, like every student in film school. And they're like, also, I'm gonna bring the F-stop all the way down so we have the blurry background effect, so you know it's cinematic.

[23:25] Liz Eston: Oh yeah, yeah, that's a big problem with this.

[23:28] Jess: It's like always trying to be more cinematic, but in trying to be cinematic, it's less cinematic.

[23:34] Liz Eston: Yep, and that's kind of and the content within it feels less cinematic.

[23:39] Jess: And the editing, when you have a lot of moving shots, you kind of need to have some stationary ones to kind of bridge you between moments.

[23:48] Liz Eston: But if every shot is con and we like moving shots, moving shots are a good thing, then it keeps energy.

[23:52] Jess: But if every shot is just moving constantly, you have a very difficult time editing.

[23:58] Liz Eston: Um, like there's about four or five times where they break the hundred and eighty degree rule where I'm just like, okay, I'm on the other side now because you're probably uh shot this already and had nowhere to edit in between.

[24:08] Jess: You didn't do basic coverage, you just shot on a gimbal.

[24:11] Liz Eston: Yeah, like Million to One has a big camera spinning problem.

[24:14] Jess: Like it's always just spinning.

[24:17] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[24:17] Jess: Also, that's like super generic, but that's not the part of this conversation.

[24:21] Liz Eston: But it feels like it's trying hard to be something it's not.

[24:26] Jess: Yes.

[24:27] Liz Eston: If it embraced its like Lifetime ABC Family quality that it's probably more likely to go for, like a DCOM level of like production value in terms of cinematography.

[24:40] Jess: If they embraced that, I would have been fine with this movie. But they didn't. They didn't. They wanted to be something more than they were, and their budget allowed them, and then they just ended up being bad. They thought they were a movie. They're not a movie, they're a TV movie. Let's talk about representation for a minute. I love representation. It can make something better and add a lot of context to it. But that does not automatically make something good. Like this being directed and written by a woman, great. You know what? That's fantastic. Does it automatically make it good or something like I think is quality? No. No. I don't like the Pitch Perfect movies. Um, and she was one of the driving minds behind those.

I did not like Blockers, which is the other film this girl has directed. I like the first Pitch Perfect movie, and I liked Blockers. Is it just Blockers? It's called it's just Blockers the marketing with the c the rooster in it as a joke. It's just called Blockers. Oh, it's not called Cock Blockers. Okay. No, that was just a marketing joke. I liked Blockers, and I like Pitch Perfect. That could be because I connected to it more as a woman.

[25:49] Liz Eston: Which is fair.

[25:50] Jess: Which is like I no, I did not connect to this at all. Um, but um I think Kay Cannon, to her credit, this movie doesn't feel like a idea she had. This feels like a movie an idea James Corden and some of his friends had, and they were like, we need to get someone to direct it, so they hired a woman.

[26:10] Liz Eston: I would agree with you if James Corden was in it more.

[26:13] Jess: Yeah, well, do you you know like the feeling you get when you watch a James Corden movie?

[26:18] Liz Eston: Yes, I've seen Cats 2019.

[26:20] Jess: Yeah, I've also seen it twice. Um don't ask why. I've seen it more times than I can count. I'm so sorry. Uh but you know the feeling you get watching a James Corden production. I had that feeling the whole time, even when he wasn't on screen.

[26:35] Liz Eston: Okay, you know what feels like a James Corden production?

[26:39] Jess: Um, and like the definition of that is The Prom movie.

[26:43] Liz Eston: Yes, that felt like a film made by James Corden for James Corden to bring up James Corden and maybe get him an Oscar nomination as James Corden.

[26:52] Jess: He got a Golden Globe nom.

[26:54] Liz Eston: That's embarrassing.

[26:55] Jess: It's really embarrassing. The movie's really bad.

[26:58] Liz Eston: Yeah, and this gave me The Prom vibes. Um with a little pretend self-awareness.

[27:04] Jess: Yeah. So I think Kay Cannon does fine with what she has in front of her. I'm sure she was given a very strict outline when writing the script. And I think they were like, embrace your 30 Rock years. Be funny, make it funny, make it make it really edgy, make it fun. And she's just like, uh I can't have it both ways.

[27:23] Liz Eston: Yeah, like the thing Blockers is a very strange movie. But I think it is it's a very weird movie. It's I mean, it's about parents trying to stop their children from losing their virginity on prom night. Like the entire premise of this movie is weird. Like, I don't know. My dad would never do that. So he's not that crazy.

[27:43] Jess: But what makes it work is she's coming from a genuine place and it feels like a story she wanted, like a story she thought of and she wanted to tell from the perspective of someone who was a teenage girl who probably hadn't who had probably had an overprotective dad who's just like, I will stop you. And it's about connecting with your family at an age where that's difficult because you're changing and all that stuff. So that was my de that was my defense of Blockers, everybody.

[28:11] Liz Eston: It's off topic.

[28:11] Jess: Yes. It just wasn't a film for me because I just don't tend to like studio comedies and that's a taste thing for me.

[28:16] Liz Eston: Uh I'm a sucker for studio comedy.

[28:19] Jess: It's prom I just I recently watched Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar, and it's delightful. I recommend that immensely to recover from your Cinderella pain.

[28:29] Liz Eston: I will take your word for that and watch it with like my mother when she decides to come across it.

[28:35] Jess: It is so weird.

[28:36] Liz Eston: I don't I think your mother will find it very weird.

[28:40] Jess: She watches a lot of weird things. She's currently watching a horse show that has 13 seasons that might have been produced by Lifetime.

[28:47] Liz Eston: I have no idea.

[28:48] Jess: But every time I come in I'm like man, that horse show's still going.

[28:56] Liz Eston: But yeah. This is a product of a studio. This is a product of executives. This is a product of white dudes thinking feminism means rejecting men and working. This is a Sony product which is something we haven't brought up and is seen very very little in the marketing. I thought this was an Amazon product, you know kind of like so let's think about Sony's other musical.

[29:17] Jess: The first one that comes to mind was Annie 2014.

[29:21] Liz Eston: Oh yeah they made that.

[29:21] Jess: Yeah they made that and this feels part and parcel with the same minds behind Annie 2014. So this is something that's coming to my head I think a lot of the blame does not belong on the actors, director or writer's shoulders. I know that Sony loves to mess up a movie and that's like their favorite thing in the world. Look at Spider-Man: The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It's like that's like their bread and butter here.

[29:48] Liz Eston: Um and Annie 2014 is one of the worst, worst musical adaptations of all time.

[29:55] Jess: Not because of the racial element. That is actually one of three good things in that movie. Keke Palmer, Jane Wallace is she deserves way more than she's she really does.

[30:04] Liz Eston: She's in Beasts of the Southern Wild.

[30:06] Jess: Oh, yes, I have. It's incredible. I loved it.

[30:09] Liz Eston: I loved it.

[30:10] Jess: She's incredible. Keke Palmer, Jane Wallace is incredibly talented. Jamie Foxx is not a bad choice to play Daddy Warbucks. None of these choices are inherently bad.

[30:17] Liz Eston: No?

[30:17] Jess: It's just the way it came out.

[30:19] Liz Eston: Yeah, it's but do you know how that film started and then it fell apart?

[30:24] Jess: I do not know the history of it.

[30:26] Liz Eston: No, I just know when the trailers came out, people got mad because Annie was black.

[30:30] Jess: Yeah, that's stupid. Um I was actually uh cautiously optimistic. It was I was excited. Like developed as uh adaptation with Willow Smith starring as Annie and Will Smith playing Daddy Warbucks, and then Willow Smith got lost interest and got too old. Will Smith left the project. They're still there as producers. Um in that version, Sandra Bullock was gonna play Miss Hannigan, which would have been delightful in a different way. But they all left the project. Jamie Foxx was immediately replaced. Keke Palmer, Jane Wallace, fresh off her Oscar nomination, um, brought in. Um, and then Cameron Diaz in a career-ending role, um, was brought in to replace Sandra Bullock. Um everyone involved in that movie has had their career very severely damaged in like nine different ways.

[31:15] Jess: Um most undeservingly, Keke Palmer, Jane Wallace, who has not acted again since.

[31:29] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[31:29] Jess: She deserves better. I do not like the way that Sony does business and the way that they treat their properties in general, not just musical theater properties. The things that they own, they just treat as pawns.

[31:41] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[31:41] Jess: And all of that. So I think that they don't know what they want. They treat directors as hired hands and aren't a very good studio for creating good content.

[31:51] Liz Eston: Yeah, absolutely.

[31:52] Jess: Like also I don't want to undercut this idea of having a Latina Cinderella. I think is a very it's very important. It's very good representation. Camila Cabello does what she can.

[32:03] Liz Eston: And she's new here.

[32:04] Jess: She's fresh. She's really acted before.

[32:07] Liz Eston: Fifth Harmony music videos do not count.

[32:09] Jess: No, they don't. They don't count, guys. But I think I'm not gonna undercut that, but I think they used the I think we need to try this again. Have a different Latina actor play Cinderella with an actual movie that isn't a product.

[32:25] Liz Eston: Oh my god. James Corden was a producer on this movie.

[32:28] Jess: Yeah, he's an executive producer.

[32:30] Liz Eston: I did not know that.

[32:31] Jess: Yeah.

[32:32] Liz Eston: Okay, let me take a look at what the other production studio, uh, Fullwell 73. What else have they done?

[32:32] Jess: Fullwell 73.

[32:40] Liz Eston: Uh nothing really worth of it.

[32:43] Jess: Um One Direction: This Is Us, uh, that concert movie.

[32:48] Liz Eston: Okay.

[32:49] Jess: They've produced a lot of music videos.

[32:52] Liz Eston: Um, what was Camila Cabello's band?

[32:54] Jess: Uh Fifth Harmony.

[32:55] Liz Eston: Uh none of their videos.

[32:56] Jess: They've done a lot of TV ads.

[32:58] Liz Eston: Um, this is a corporate company.

[33:01] Jess: Yes.

[33:02] Liz Eston: They are big on music videos.

[33:04] Jess: Oh, and they produced The Late Late Show with James Corden.

[33:08] Liz Eston: Oh, so it's a it's all connected.

[33:11] Jess: Everything's connected.

[33:12] Liz Eston: Everything is connected.

[33:13] Jess: It's conspiracy.

[33:14] Liz Eston: It's a UK based company.

[33:16] Jess: Um, and I wanna know how this got made. There are a lot of British actors in this, like the side characters, a lot of them are British.

[33:24] Liz Eston: It's like they're pretty nice.

[33:25] Jess: I think the other two guys who play the mice aren't terrible.

[33:29] Liz Eston: No, they're fine.

[33:30] Jess: Because they're not James Corden.

[33:31] Liz Eston: But James Corden is like the main mouse.

[33:34] Jess: So we have to look at him. Not to mention that goddamn mouse head scene.

[33:39] Liz Eston: Oh god.

[33:40] Jess: Yeah, um My nightmares. Uh so let's talk about James Corden for a bit minute, um, and how his rise to fame came about. 'Cause he's producer on this. He is the main mouse. Um let's talk about this. So about oh, it has to be about six, seven years ago, twenty fourteen.

[34:01] Liz Eston: Yeah, twenty fourteen.

[34:02] Jess: Um he was nobody really. He was known as a character actor on like British television. You have seen him on Doctor Who. He was announced his first big claim to fame was being the Baker in the Into the Woods movie. That was his big goal.

[34:14] Liz Eston: That's the first time I saw him.

[34:15] Jess: Yes, that's what a lot of Americans first time seeing him. Um then David Letterman leaves the late show. Um everyone expected Craig Ferguson to take over. He was the one doing the Late Late Show for many years, and he would have been a good choice and he's fun. They picked Stephen Colbert for a lot of reasons that make sense at the time, but in the long run have not made sense and not yielded great results.

[34:41] Liz Eston: And they followed him.

[34:43] Jess: Um Craig Ferguson left as soon as his contract was up, 'cause he felt like he wasn't wanted there, so he got out. And the gentleman that ran CBS, um, who is now been outed as a rapist and a horrible misogynist. Um he has been removed from CBS, was best friends with James Corden, and James Corden pushed himself to take that role. Um, over a lot of other people.

[35:07] Liz Eston: And he was almost given the Tonight or the Late Show after Colbert's ratings dumped, like in late 2016, uh, when Colbert took a big dive in the ratings.

[35:19] Jess: Um, they were like, all right, let's fire Colbert and bring Corden on to the Late Show. And then, you know, the Me Too thing happened, and CBS got rid of this guy, and now we're just stuck with James Corden for the rest of our lives.

[35:33] Liz Eston: So I just want you guys to be fully aware of why we deal with James Corden.

[35:38] Jess: James Corden outed a lot of people, because let's just think about it. He was a nobody. He wasn't like a well-known name or anything. Um, it was like a Conan O'Brien style risk to bring him on and give him his own show. Except Conan's actually likeable, so people but moms love James Corden.

[35:55] Liz Eston: When I when I saw this trailer on, my girlfriend's mom walked into the room was like, oh, I love James Corden. I'm watch that.

[36:01] Jess: Yeah, I remember telling my mom about The Prom movie, and I told her James Corden was in, and she's like, ooh, James Corden, he's cool. I don't understand why you hate him. And I'm like.

[36:10] Liz Eston: So I went I know this is Patreon, this might go on the main feed one day, but be aware. If you support James Corden, remember how he got there and remember who got him there.

[36:20] Jess: Yeah, oh god. Just there's just so much of this movie. Like, this movie isn't is hard to watch only because it's boring most of the time. Every time Cinderella and the Prince have a conversation, I just zone out.

[36:35] Liz Eston: You know what? I actually kinda like them.

[36:37] Jess: They did have a little bit of chemistry together.

[36:39] Liz Eston: Yeah, they had chemistry, but it there's just parts of it where I just zone out completely.

[36:44] Jess: I'm just like, you guys have been talking for so long, and nothing has changed.

[36:48] Liz Eston: Okay.

[36:49] Jess: Yeah.

[36:49] Liz Eston: This is an hour and forty-seven minutes.

[36:52] Jess: It could have been an hour and twenty-six minutes.

[36:54] Liz Eston: Easy.

[36:55] Jess: Yeah, like uh don't count any of the town crier stuff.

[36:58] Liz Eston: That's delightful.

[36:59] Jess: But yeah, no.

[37:00] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[37:00] Jess: Just like this not every song number in half.

[37:04] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[37:04] Jess: Especially somebody to love.

[37:06] Liz Eston: It goes on for way too long.

[37:07] Jess: Yeah.

[37:07] Liz Eston: They do the whole song.

[37:09] Jess: But Queen.

[37:10] Liz Eston: You got Queen is the best musical band of all time, right?

[37:14] Jess: Everyone loves We Will Rock You.

[37:16] Liz Eston: Clearly, it's the best song ever written.

[37:20] Jess: Um, I I I don't know what else to say about this movie.

[37:25] Liz Eston: So much that I went on a rant about James Corden and his fucking supremacy over the American culture.

[37:30] Jess: Honest this the general vibe of this movie is boring and the songs are weird and half of them make no sense.

[37:38] Liz Eston: Like the ball.

[37:41] Jess: This is a jukebox musical with I think two original songs.

[37:43] Liz Eston: I think Dream Girl is an original song.

[37:45] Jess: Is it a million and one?

[37:48] Liz Eston: And a million to one.

[37:50] Jess: Is that original?

[37:51] Liz Eston: Yeah, that's an original song.

[37:53] Jess: It's now like that sound like a one direction song or something.

[37:56] Liz Eston: No, this is an original song.

[37:57] Jess: They probably wrote it for Camila Cabello.

[37:59] Liz Eston: Like or her songwriters wrote it for her.

[38:01] Jess: I don't know what's going on in her pop career.

[38:02] Liz Eston: I don't really listen to her that much, but yeah.

[38:08] Jess: But the weird thing I love that movie.

[38:10] Liz Eston: Yeah, I love Moulin Rouge.

[38:11] Jess: Uh, the weird thing is with the it's just it's a juke box musical with a random original song in it so they can sell records.

[38:17] Liz Eston: It's like okay.

[38:18] Jess: In a million to one, I I remember I was like making dinner one night and I was thinking about this movie for some reason.

[38:24] Liz Eston: And for some reason I started thinking about a million dreams from uh Greatest Showman, and they sounded alike in my head.

[38:32] Jess: You could say, you could say, you could say it's crazy.

[38:35] Liz Eston: Yeah, like they sound the same.

[38:37] Jess: And uh Idina Menzel sings another original song, I'm pretty sure.

[38:41] Liz Eston: If I'm wrong, I can look it up, but like Dre she sings on like there's you shouldn't dream or anything, just marry a guy and say fuck it.

[38:50] Jess: I agree.

[38:50] Liz Eston: You know what?

[38:51] I'm into that.

[38:51] Jess: I'm gonna go marry a guy and say fuck it.

[38:53] Liz Eston: Yeah, go for it.

[38:54] Jess: And fuck him too.

[38:55] Liz Eston: So he you stay married to him.

[38:57] Jess: That's how it I I'm gonna trap him.

[38:59] Liz Eston: I'm gonna poke holes in his condom.

[39:01] Jess: That's how this works, right?

[39:02] Liz Eston: I I read that somewhere.

[39:03] Jess: Yeah, that's that's ex Totally.

[39:08] Liz Eston: I am being sarcastic.

[39:10] Jess: I just cleared this.

[39:12] Liz Eston: She means this.

[39:12] Jess: She means this.

[39:13] Liz Eston: I'm clarifying for the audience so no one misconstrued my words.

[39:18] Jess: You know, if you write this out uh as uh long text, if you read that back, it just sounds like you're agreeing with me.

[39:23] Liz Eston: Yeah, totally.

[39:24] Jess: Yeah, no, I'm not agreeing with you.

[39:25] Liz Eston: An actor can make a choice to make that not sarcastic, where it's like, yeah, I just poke holes on the condom, and they're like, yeah, totally.

[39:32] Jess: I will not take a slander on my name.

[39:35] Liz Eston: I'm hiring Camila Cabello.

[39:36] Jess: She's gonna take your place on Patreon of cheese.

[39:40] Liz Eston: She's too busy making generic music and taking walks with her dog and Sean Mendes.

[39:45] Jess: So Sean Mendes, who is he?

[39:47] Liz Eston: He's another pop singer who is uh is he any good?

[39:50] Jess: I don't know, he's he's pretty generic.

[39:53] Liz Eston: Most generic looking white man, one of the most generic looking white men I've ever seen.

[39:57] Jess: He rose up during the Bieber era of pop music where a bunch of white dudes peak pop music.

[39:57] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[39:57] Jess: A bunch of white dudes with similar haircuts all started rising up at the same time when Bieber became a thing and record companies wanted to cash in on that sweet, sweet beaver money.

[40:12] Liz Eston: That beebs.

[40:13] Jess: That beaver money, which is now low because Bieber doesn't make good music anymore, and he just makes clothes.

[40:19] Liz Eston: So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[40:21] Jess: Bieber made good music at one point.

[40:23] Liz Eston: He doesn't make good He never made good music.

[40:25] Jess: But I was a teenager during the Bieber era, so I was supposed to like him.

[40:29] Liz Eston: I didn't.

[40:31] Jess: Um, I remember all the girls I had crushes on in high school like liked him.

[40:35] Liz Eston: Yeah, I wasn't one of those.

[40:37] Jess: They sh someone showed me a Justin Bieber music video when I was like 12, and I was like, why is this child trying to seduce me?

[40:43] Liz Eston: Like this is weird.

[40:45] Jess: And then One Direction was I was never into them in high school.

[40:48] Liz Eston: I like them now in retrospect, but why?

[40:52] Jess: I don't know.

[40:53] Liz Eston: I just the first thing I heard was what makes you beautiful.

[40:56] Jess: Yes.

[40:57] Liz Eston: One Direction.

[40:57] Jess: Okay.

[40:58] Liz Eston: And I love Harry Styles.

[40:59] Jess: He's an icon.

[41:00] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[41:00] Jess: I mean he's definitely fucking uh Olivia Wilde, which makes him iconic to me.

[41:04] Liz Eston: Truly.

[41:05] Jess: Him and Jason Sudeikis Wiener Cousins.

[41:08] Liz Eston: Oh god, I I oh Wiener Cousins.

[41:11] Jess: That's a weird word.

[41:14] Liz Eston: They will always share that.

[41:15] Jess: Yeah, I guess they'll share that, and also presumably custody of their children.

[41:20] Liz Eston: I wonder if either of Jason Sudeikis's kids were like real big One Directioners and then find out that their mom's fucking Harry Styles.

[41:28] Jess: One of them starts listening in One Direction's like, is this mommy's boyfriend?

[41:33] Liz Eston: Jason Sudeikis is like, turn that shit off.

[41:37] Jess: Uh no, he takes another swing of vodka.

[41:40] Liz Eston: Oh god.

[41:40] Jess: Well he's he's drawn he has a Ted Lasso money now, so yeah.

[41:40] Liz Eston: Yeah, that compares to like directing Booksmart money.

[41:48] Jess: I mean, it didn't do very good at the box office.

[41:51] Liz Eston: So did it not?

[41:52] Jess: I love it.

[41:53] Liz Eston: Oh, it didn't.

[41:53] Jess: It was directed by a woman and it was an independent production, so but it was so good.

[41:57] Liz Eston: Yeah, it was excellent, but Caitlin Dever fingers uh Margaret Qualley's butthole.

[42:02] Jess: It's a great movie.

[42:03] Liz Eston: It's great.

[42:03] Jess: Beanie Feldstein is um amazing as usual.

[42:07] Liz Eston: Has she ever been bad?

[42:08] Jess: No, she's always good.

[42:09] Liz Eston: I mean, she's playing Mark Linsky right now.

[42:11] Jess: Yeah.

[42:12] Liz Eston: Have you seen her in What We Do in the Shadows, though?

[42:14] Jess: Yes.

[42:15] Liz Eston: She's so good in that.

[42:17] Jess: So I've only seen like three episodes, but I love her so much.

[42:20] Liz Eston: My god.

[42:20] Jess: I gotta watch it.

[42:23] Liz Eston: Yeah, the movie's also excellent.

[42:24] Jess: I like the show a little better.

[42:26] Liz Eston: I've only seen three episodes, so I can't say.

[42:26] Jess: Barry at l in and of himself, his existence in that show makes it better.

[42:35] Liz Eston: Oh, yeah.

[42:35] Jess: I quote things from him at least once a week.

[42:43] Liz Eston: Ah, also I love Nadia on the episodes I've seen.

[42:47] Jess: She's great.

[42:50] Liz Eston: She's just so done with everybody, and I love her at all times.

[42:53] Jess: She's done.

[42:54] Liz Eston: Like I love it.

[42:55] Jess: I think my favorite episode is the one where they're trying to plan an orgy, and just like the usual party planning shit is just falling apart.

[43:02] Liz Eston: It's top tier content.

[43:05] Jess: And it makes me realize no sitcoms aren't dying.

[43:07] Liz Eston: No, they aren't.

[43:08] Jess: They're just having new formats.

[43:10] Liz Eston: Sure, Young Sheldon still exists, but you know, we can leave that for the moms.

[43:14] Jess: Uh but I I don't know what else to say about Cinderella besides the fact I'm bored with half.

[43:18] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[43:19] Jess: Like, it's not offensively terrible.

[43:21] Liz Eston: Like, sure, there is the thing where it equates being a successful feminist woman with not having a man because it undercuts your success.

[43:31] Jess: I have that's I hate that.

[43:33] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[43:33] Jess: I hate that.

[43:34] Liz Eston: But I guess it rectifies it later by saying it's not true, but not actually saying it's not true.

[43:41] Jess: Liz, you're gonna have to break up with your boyfriend if you're gonna want to have any success ever.

[43:45] Liz Eston: Um not be getting laid and um be a successful woman at the same time.

[43:52] Jess: That's what this movie taught me.

[43:53] Liz Eston: It's unfortunate.

[43:54] Jess: Our five year anniversary's coming up, so you should do it the day before.

[43:58] Liz Eston: Yeah.

[43:59] Jess: It's a great way to deal with blood.

[44:01] Liz Eston: I watched this movie and it taught me that feminism is bad.

[44:05] Jess: Um, hey, hey, hey, what's your boyfriend's name again?

[44:08] Liz Eston: His name's Matt.

[44:08] Jess: Hey, Matt, Matt, Mad.

[44:10] Liz Eston: You're gonna want to sit down for this.

[44:12] Jess: So I think you might have already guessed, but we watched Cinderella the other night, and it gave me a revelation.

[44:19] Liz Eston: I cannot fuck you and be a strong independent woman.

[44:22] Jess: Get your shit.

[44:23] Liz Eston: We don't live together, so that probably wouldn't work.

[44:27] Jess: No, he drove like the three hours it took, and then you just tell him to get out.

[44:32] Liz Eston: Well, that's you wait for him to unpack and everything.

[44:34] Jess: To his credit, it's only 45 minutes to my house.

[44:38] Liz Eston: You must take him somewhere that's three hours away.

[44:42] Jess: Wait the full three hour drive.

[44:44] Liz Eston: Then when he gets there, wait for him to unpack, and then you give him this speech.

[44:49] Jess: Wow, that's savage.

[44:51] Liz Eston: It's it's how you gotta do it, or else they're gonna keep coming back.

[44:54] Jess: That's savage.

[44:55] Liz Eston: Oh my god.

[44:57] Jess: And you want to be a strong independent woman, don't you?

[44:59] Liz Eston: Rand, if you're listening to this, you might want to also be a strong independent woman.

[45:05] Jess: Yeah, that's funny because you think she'd listen to these.

[45:09] Liz Eston: That's the funniest thing I've heard all week.

[45:11] Jess: That's why I said if she she wouldn't listen to this if I paid her, let alone pay to listen to this.

[45:18] Liz Eston: That's true.

[45:19] Jess: That's true.

[45:23] Liz Eston: In her own words, if I wanted to hear you babble about musicals, I'd just spend time with you.

[45:28] Jess: Yeah.

[45:30] Liz Eston: Accurate.

[45:32] Jess: Uh but yeah, this movie's really bad.

[45:35] Liz Eston: But like in a boring way.

[45:37] Jess: It's not remarkable in any way, nor entertaining.

[45:40] Liz Eston: Go watch The Apple instead.

[45:42] Jess: Yeah, go watch The Apple, or uh go watch Cinderella 3.

[45:45] Liz Eston: That's also a musical.

[45:46] Jess: Yeah, that's we should review that next week.

[45:48] Liz Eston: Yeah, or watch uh Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar.

[45:51] Jess: Um that's also what we do in the shadows.

[45:53] Liz Eston: There's a lot of good things about it.

[45:55] Jess: Or like that's also a musical technically.

[45:57] Liz Eston: They sing.

[45:57] Jess: Right.

[45:58] Liz Eston: Yeah, they sing.

[45:59] Jess: They sing a couple times a bit.

[46:01] Liz Eston: Evan Rachel Wood shows up in one episode.

[46:03] Jess: Yeah.

[46:03] Liz Eston: Oh no, I was talking about um Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar.

[46:07] Jess: That is technically a musical.

[46:08] Liz Eston: There is singing in that.

[46:10] Jess: I did not expect it.

[46:11] Liz Eston: But it was delightful.

[46:12] Jess: So watch Billy Madison.

[46:14] Liz Eston: That that's technically a musical.

[46:15] Jess: Yeah, watch or watch, I don't know.

[46:17] Liz Eston: Walk Hard, the Dewey Cox Story.

[46:19] Jess: Just any.

[46:20] Liz Eston: Maybe we should do that one someday.

[46:22] Jess: We should.

[46:22] Liz Eston: It's such a good movie.

[46:23] Jess: We should.

[46:24] Liz Eston: If you do it on the main podcast.

[46:25] Jess: If you do it on the main podcast, just have a chance.

[46:27] Liz Eston: Oh, I'll bring you in.

[46:28] Jess: Hell yeah.

[46:29] Liz Eston: I'll love that movie.

[46:30] Jess: Or just watch anything with singing in it that isn't this.

[46:33] Liz Eston: Don't don't even hate watch it.

[46:35] Jess: Don't don't hate watch things, guys.

[46:37] Liz Eston: The Andrew Lloyd Weber one's better.

[46:39] Jess: Yeah, that's yeah, that's really I would rather listen to Bad Cinderella than watch any more of this movie.

[46:45] Liz Eston: Yeah, if it's a million to one, I'll let it be that one.

[46:51] Jess: Also, right before they started singing when they were like dancing at the ball, I nearly vomited from like the cheese, the cheesiness of it all.

[46:58] Liz Eston: Just like, oh my god, why this song?

[47:00] Jess: Why this song?

[47:01] Liz Eston: Murder it.

[47:03] Jess: Murder it.

[47:04] Liz Eston: That's our review.

[47:05] Jess: We give it a murder it out of ten.

[47:07] Liz Eston: Murder it out of ten.

[47:15] Jess: Uh this doesn't even deserve any actual proper cheese, so I'm gonna give it blue cheese dressing.

[47:21] Liz Eston: Oh, that's even better.

[47:22] Jess: Because it doesn't even deserve to be a cheese.

[47:24] Liz Eston: Yeah, we're gonna call it a cheese, but it doesn't deserve it.

[47:28] Jess: Yeah.

[47:28] Liz Eston: Actually, I'm changing I'm gonna change my cheese rating to that vegan cheese that you put on vegan pizzas.

[47:34] Jess: Oh god, yeah.

[47:35] Liz Eston: I I love vegan pizzas, but if you let that thing sit on there more than five seconds, it is barely even.

[47:41] Jess: It like removes any kind of solidification it had.

[47:45] Liz Eston: Yeah, no, it's it's it's weird and it's a product of a company that sucks.

[47:51] Jess: Just like Amazon Prime Cinderella.

[47:54] Liz Eston: Oh god, yeah.

[47:55] Jess: Don't watch it.

[47:56] Liz Eston: That's what I have to say.

[47:58] Jess: Just don't watch, watch Annette and listen to the new School Cheese episode on Annette.

[48:02] Liz Eston: Hey, did you listen to it?

[48:04] Jess: I am going to.

[48:06] Liz Eston: Wow.

[48:07] Jess: Alright, we'll see you next time on Patreon with cheese.

[48:10] Liz Eston: Don't watch Cinderella.

[48:11] Jess: Don't watch it, please.

[48:13] Liz Eston: Do anything else with your life.

[48:14] Jess: Literally do anything else with your life.

[48:15] Liz Eston: It's so much more fulfilling.

[48:16] Jess: Touch grass.

[48:17] Liz Eston: Alright, bye guys!

[48:22] Jess: Just can of all the water.