This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] ♪ Musical number: "Come Little Children" — performed by Unknown ♪

[0:30] Jess: Hello, and welcome back to Patreon with Cheese, you wonderful patrons. And it's ooky spooky season, which means we're talking about something ooky spooky, aren't we, Liz?

[0:40] Liz: Yes, we are. Very spooky.

[0:42] Jess: And in fact, we're talking about two ooky spooky things, because we're talking about both Hocus Pocus movies. So a few years ago, on this Patreon, you can actually hear me and Andrew do a commentary on the first Hocus Pocus. I don't remember if it was any good, but I do remember Andrew being like, I get why girls like this, I guess. And that was his review.

[1:05] Liz: I think it's the best review I've heard.

[1:08] Jess: I mean, it's not inaccurate, but Liz, fascinatingly enough, you had never seen the first or second Hocus Pocus, and you just binged them both.

[1:20] Liz: Yeah, I did. I did a double feature. I gave myself a two-minute break in between movies.

[1:27] Jess: Okay, I want to hear, because I grew up on the first Hocus Pocus.

[1:33] Liz: Yeah, I was more of a Halloweentown child. I've discovered there's a delineation between the two.

[1:38] Jess: Were you a Scary Godmother child?

[1:41] Liz: Oh, I was such a Scary Godmother child.

[1:43] Jess: She's kind of hot, though.

[1:45] Liz: I love the Scary Godmother movies. Every time they show up on Cartoon Network, I drop everything and watch them, and parents are like, why are you watching this weird movie? I'm like, because it's awesome, shut up!

[1:54] Jess: Have you watched it recently?

[1:56] Liz: No.

[1:57] Jess: It is an eyesore and a half. It is not pleasant to look at.

[2:00] Liz: Yeah, I'm afraid of it now.

[2:03] Jess: That's fascinating. But you like the Halloweentown movies.

[2:08] Liz: I love the Halloweentown movies, except the last one, without Kimberly Brown. That sucked.

[2:15] Jess: Yeah, yeah. And wasn't she replaced by a big-name actress, kind of?

[2:20] Liz: I don't know. I think it was like, I forget which Halloweentown she was in.

[2:25] Jess: It was the one after Halloweentown High.

[2:28] Liz: Return to Halloweentown.

[2:30] Jess: There we are. It was Sarah Paxton, who was famous in '06.

[2:35] Liz: Yeah, but now, thanks to TikTok, Kimberly J. Brown, or whatever her name is, is more famous because she married the bad guy from the second Halloweentown.

[2:44] Jess: Yeah, I'm kind of obsessed with that, honestly. I love that lore.

[2:49] Liz: I will say, to Hocus Pocus's credit, it is a bit edgier than any of the Halloweentown movies.

[2:56] Jess: Yeah, they say the word virgin like two minutes in.

[2:59] Liz: Then they don't stop.

[3:01] Jess: Then they don't shut up about how the main character is a virgin, even though he's like a 15-year-old boy.

[3:08] Liz: And he's also Max from a Goofy movie.

[3:11] Jess: He is?

[3:12] Liz: I think so.

[3:13] Jess: I haven't seen that.

[3:15] Liz: We just did a commentary with Ethan from Sideways on this Patreon there. You should check that out. Cross-promotion. I hear from the internet that that's what you're supposed to do.

[3:27] Jess: But did you like it? Sincerely, does this work if you're coming to it as not someone that was inundated with it as a child?

[3:36] Liz: It works, not as much as it does to the nostalgic sense, but it works well enough. It's fun.

[3:48] Jess: Now, why don't you like it? Why do you hate this? Why is this the worst movie in the world to you, Liz, as that is what you're obviously saying?

[3:54] Liz: Don't you put slanderous words in my mouth. I already rated this on Letterboxd and I gave it a solid rating.

[3:59] Jess: Alright, alright.

[4:01] Liz: No, I liked it. I enjoyed it. Honestly, it kind of went in one ear and out the other by the time I got halfway through the sequel because they're very similar.

[4:11] Jess: They are very similar.

[4:13] Liz: It felt like I was watching the same movie but with a slightly better camera.

[4:16] Jess: It was like, okay. Okay. I do, I mean, it's really edgy. The entire plot's about them trying to eat children.

[4:25] Liz: Um, no, suck their souls out.

[4:28] Jess: Suck out their souls.

[4:30] Liz: They change it in the sequel to be eat them, which is...

[4:32] Jess: Yeah.

[4:34] Liz: I think they even just say straight up they want to kill children in the first one.

[4:37] Jess: Yeah, no, they hate children. They want to murder all children.

[4:40] Liz: Yeah, because they taste so good.

[4:42] Jess: They're delicious.

[4:44] Liz: I just like that our lead characters, so to say, like the ones that are the icons are the villains. Like, they're not just like, oh, they're anti-heroes. No, they're villains.

[4:53] Jess: No, they're evil.

[4:55] Liz: I love it.

[4:57] Jess: They sing magical songs and they're evil.

[4:59] Liz: Yeah, they want children to walk to their deaths and they're evil.

[5:03] Jess: And they want to look prettier.

[5:05] Liz: And one of them tries to cook Penny Marshall.

[5:09] Jess: Oh yeah, that was Penny Marshall.

[5:14] Liz: It was Penny and Gary Marshall.

[5:16] Jess: Oh, I was wondering who that guy was. I feel like I should have recognized him.

[5:19] Liz: And, okay, I don't want to jump too far ahead to the second movie, but there's a part that broke my brain a little too much. There's a scene where they're going around and there's someone watching that Gary Marshall scene from Hocus Pocus 1 on their TV.

[5:36] Jess: It broke my brain. It was like, no, no, no, we can't do this.

[5:40] Liz: You were getting so many points for me.

[5:42] Jess: It lost me.

[5:44] Liz: Oh God, you're losing me, movie. You're already losing me.

[5:47] Jess: What did you think of baby Thora Birch in that movie?

[5:49] Liz: I love Thora Birch.

[5:51] Jess: She was so small.

[5:53] Liz: Last thing I saw Thora Birch in was a Lifetime movie, so it was nice to see her in something not terrible.

[5:58] Jess: Yeah, last thing I saw her in was American Beauty, so it's still very good to see her in something not terrible.

[6:04] Liz: I thought that was one of your favorite movies.

[6:07] Jess: I never said that.

[6:09] Liz: Did you? I don't remember.

[6:11] Jess: I was about to say, that's about a guy that's trying to fuck a child. No, that's not one of my favorite movies.

[6:16] Liz: That's a good point. I apologize.

[6:20] Jess: That is a red flag material if a guy says that's his favorite movie.

[6:26] Liz: Kevin Spacey's trying to fuck a teenager? Oh, I'm into that.

[6:30] Jess: That's a very good point.

[6:34] Liz: But Hocus Pocus, that's a little bit more reasonable.

[6:38] Jess: That just shames boys for not losing their v-card before they get pubic hair.

[6:45] Liz: Also, apparently he moved into town a day ago.

[6:51] Jess: He doesn't know anybody.

[6:54] Liz: I mean, he tries. I will say he's got more game than most people in Disney movies.

[7:00] Jess: He does give someone a number right away, no question.

[7:04] Liz: Hey, you want to do Halloween still with me?

[7:08] Jess: Do you want to do the PG-13 Disney equivalent of something?

[7:12] Liz: Do you want to go up to my bedroom and kiss me on my fish pillows while I kiss you on your fish pillows?

[7:20] Jess: It's weird, though, because that had to be an intentional choice. He goes up to his room and his entire bed is fish decor.

[7:27] Liz: He has a giant fish pillow that he's making out with and saying, oh, Allison. I'm like, he's kissing her on the fish pillows.

[7:31] Jess: And then Thora Birch, his little sister, is like, kiss me, I'm Allison. I'm like, oh, on the fish pillows?

[7:40] Liz: Right here in front of my salad?

[7:54] Jess: Yeah, that's weird.

[7:55] Liz: He's got game, I'll give him that.

[7:57] Jess: Yeah, he does.

[7:59] Liz: Strangely, he and that girl have chemistry with each other.

[8:03] Jess: And he and Danny have chemistry as sibling chemistry.

[8:08] Liz: It works.

[8:09] Jess: But the girl is such a non-character in this.

[8:12] Liz: The extra girlfriend.

[8:14] Jess: Her entire personality is, I am the girl.

[8:17] Liz: And I am cute.

[8:19] Jess: Well, in the first half, it's like, I like Halloween and I will defend Halloween to the death because I live in Salem.

[8:25] Liz: I've never lived in Salem. I don't know if these people are like this.

[8:29] Jess: Literally two weeks from today, I will be in Salem on Halloween.

[8:32] Liz: Maybe you'll run into the Sanderson sisters.

[8:34] Jess: I hope so.

[8:36] Liz: Probably someone in a costume.

[8:38] Jess: I'd love to see some children die at the hands of three crazy women.

[8:45] Liz: No one dies.

[8:46] Jess: No children die in these movies.

[8:48] Liz: What the fuck are you talking about?

[8:49] Jess: What happens in the first five minutes?

[8:51] Liz: Except the little sister.

[8:52] Jess: For God's sake, she died.

[8:54] Liz: She actively died in the first couple minutes.

[8:58] Jess: Yeah, that's true. That is one of the most balls-to-the-wall openings ever.

[9:03] Liz: Because these goofy characters who continue to be goofy while there's a child corpse in the room.

[9:09] Jess: And they're doing their Three Stooges schtick.

[9:11] Liz: They're doing Three Stooges gags where there's a little girl hunched over.

[9:17] Jess: Poor little Thackeray up there is like, oh no, this is horrible.

[9:21] Liz: Yes, his name is Thackeray.

[9:23] Jess: Thackeray, not Zachary.

[9:25] Liz: Thackeray.

[9:26] Jess: That's what the subtitle says.

[9:28] Liz: Which is a terrible name.

[9:30] Jess: It's a great old-timey name.

[9:33] Liz: It's a very old-timey name. I just wish when he was a cat he'd speak more old-timey.

[9:38] Jess: Instead of speaking in modern vernacular.

[9:42] Liz: 1990s vernacular.

[9:45] Jess: Well, the thing is, he did live through it all.

[9:47] Liz: That's true, he was a cat. He probably did catch Rocko's Modern Life or whatever nonsense on the TV.

[9:54] Jess: Oh, that poor soul.

[9:56] Liz: Let me see Psychologically Scarred. Watch Hey Arnold every week.

[10:00] Jess: I don't know, what was on in the 90s? I watched Courage and Rocko's Modern Life as a kid.

[10:06] Liz: So I really like horror movies as a result.

[10:09] Jess: Yeah.

[10:10] Liz: I wasn't a Ren and Stimpy guy.

[10:13] Jess: It was too weird for me.

[10:14] Liz: It was too much.

[10:15] Jess: It was a little too much.

[10:16] Liz: It's too David Lynchian.

[10:18] Jess: It was too definitely written by a pedophile.

[10:22] Liz: That too.

[10:25] Jess: I never watch that show now.

[10:27] Liz: It's so great that I never have to watch that show now.

[10:31] Jess: Because it was definitely written by a sex pest.

[10:34] Liz: Yeah, that's why I haven't seen any of the Jeepers Creepers.

[10:37] Jess: And that's a thing I'm grateful for too. I wish Woody Allen would die already so I could watch Love and Death and Annie Hall again without feeling guilty.

[10:45] Liz: He is retiring though.

[10:46] Jess: No, he immediately rescinded that.

[10:48] Liz: He's like, no, I'm not really retiring.

[10:49] Jess: He is?

[10:50] Liz: Yeah.

[10:51] Jess: God fucking damn it. I was so happy.

[10:53] Liz: Bet you'll die already, you old fuck.

[10:54] Jess: I was so happy he retired. I was like, oh, stop making movies in France.

[10:56] Liz: He just made a new movie. Remember, not even that long ago, four or five years ago, when he was getting big A-listers to headline his films?

[11:09] Jess: Now, you know the biggest A-lister headlining his film?

[11:12] Liz: Wallace Shawn.

[11:15] Jess: That is the new Woody Allen insert in his new movie is Wallace Shawn. And I'm like, remember when you were getting Scarlett Johansson, Colin Firth, Emma Stone?

[11:24] Liz: Nothing against Wallace Shawn except for the fact that he's working with Woody Allen.

[11:29] Jess: Yeah, he should be working with Woody Allen.

[11:34] Liz: Speaking of people that are kind of shitty, Bette Midler.

[11:38] Jess: What did Bette Midler do?

[11:39] Liz: Oh, she's a transphobe.

[11:41] Jess: Oh, I forgot she was a transphobe.

[11:43] Liz: Yep.

[11:44] Jess: Yeah.

[11:45] Liz: I forgot about that. I knew that, too. I will say, that being said, she is engaging in both movies.

[11:53] Jess: Yeah.

[11:54] Liz: But Sarah Jessica Parker is next level hot in the first movie. Like, she's never been that hot before or since in any other movie.

[12:02] Jess: This was pre-Ed Wood, too, I think.

[12:05] Liz: This was pre where she was constantly called a horse.

[12:08] Jess: Why do people call her a horse?

[12:09] Liz: Because there was a line from Ed Wood. People said she looked like a horse.

[12:14] Jess: So then the Internet picked it up and now they call her ugly.

[12:20] Liz: I don't know. I feel like she gets the bad end of the stick. You know who her husband is, right?

[12:25] Jess: Matthew Broderick.

[12:26] Liz: Convicted murderer Matthew Broderick.

[12:28] Jess: Wait, what?

[12:34] Liz: He was drunk driving and he ran over a guy and killed him.

[12:37] Jess: Oh!

[12:38] Liz: Jennifer Grey was in the car with him.

[12:41] Jess: Oh yeah, oh lord, oh lord.

[12:43] Liz: Got convicted but got off scot-free because celebrity!

[12:47] Jess: Protecting white male celebrities since the dawn of time.

[12:52] Liz: You know, if maybe if he had went to prison for that, we wouldn't have gotten the Music Man remake.

[12:56] Jess: And we would have been much better off as a society.

[13:01] Liz: Or Inspector Gadget.

[13:02] Jess: Oh no, I watched that as a kid too.

[13:06] Liz: I watched that recently, it's actually not bad.

[13:09] Jess: Rupert Everett in it is actually next level incredible in that movie.

[13:13] Liz: Sorry, I just love the SNL skit of Dermot Mulroney or like Dylan McDermott and then someone said Rupert Everett as an answer and it's like, no you're right, it's the gay Dermot Mulroney, good job.

[13:28] Jess: Do you know who's hosting SNL this week?

[13:31] Liz: Brendan Gleeson.

[13:32] Jess: That's one of the most wild choices of an SNL host ever and I hope they keep doing shit like that.

[13:40] Liz: Every year they put the one old man thing, I think last year was Willem Dafoe, I want more of that.

[13:46] Jess: Those are always surprisingly the best episodes of the season.

[13:50] Liz: And the last episode was terrible.

[13:55] Jess: They lost all the good performers, like Melissa Villaseñor, I think I've talked about it on this Patreon podcast, how I kind of simp for her and every skit is better because she's in it.

[14:06] Liz: Yeah, you're a big simp for her.

[14:07] Jess: We've also talked about this off mic too.

[14:09] Liz: This might have just been a personal conversation between you and me, but I simp hard for her.

[14:15] Jess: Yeah, I get it too, I get it too.

[14:19] Liz: And now she's gone, Kate McKinnon's gone, the only one we got left is Cicely Strong and she wasn't even on last night because she's still in a play.

[14:27] Jess: She's doing a show in LA for a while, so she's not even in the opening credits right now.

[14:34] Liz: Who do we have left?

[14:35] Jess: Andrew Dismukes.

[14:36] Liz: Who?

[14:37] Jess: Andrew Dismukes.

[14:38] Liz: You know who should be made a main player who is stealing every time they're on SNL?

[14:46] Jess: The entire cast of PLL?

[14:48] Liz: Yes, they're their own territory.

[14:52] Jess: I don't want them to go beyond that.

[14:53] Liz: That's Pretty Little Liars, PLD.

[14:56] Jess: I knew what you meant, not what you said.

[14:59] Liz: It's Sarah Sherman.

[15:00] Jess: She is probably the best person.

[15:02] Liz: Oh, she's still a featured?

[15:03] Jess: Yeah, she's not even a full cast member yet.

[15:06] Liz: Bullshit.

[15:07] Jess: Bullshit.

[15:08] Liz: I know it.

[15:09] Jess: She is easily the best person on there at the moment.

[15:12] Liz: She's the funniest person there.

[15:13] Jess: She got me to laugh at a Chucky joke on SNL.

[15:16] Liz: She is, and we're not sketch comedians here, but she is so fucking good and the fact that she didn't get promoted between seasons is honestly a crime to me, especially considering how many fucking people left last year.

[15:31] Liz: Seriously.

[15:33] Jess: And then firing Chris Redd because he cucks Kenan Thompson.

[15:36] Liz: Oh yeah, they fired him.

[15:39] Jess: Oh, I'm so mad about that.

[15:43] Liz: Like it was a, they did the same thing to Taron Killam where it's like, I have a year on my contract. All right, that sucks. We don't want you though.

[15:50] Jess: Yeah.

[15:51] Liz: That's a very fair one too.

[15:53] Jess: Taron Killam graduated high school for, with Emily Clark.

[15:58] Liz: Amazing.

[15:59] Jess: Yeah.

[16:00] Liz: So let's go over who she graduated high school with.

[16:03] Jess: Josh Groban and Taron Killam.

[16:05] Liz: And she did a play with, sorry, you meant Josh Groban.

[16:08] Jess: Yeah, sorry.

[16:09] Liz: Josh Groban, Taron Killam, and of course, Finn Wittrock.

[16:14] Jess: They did a show together.

[16:15] Liz: Oh, Finn Wittrock.

[16:16] Jess: Yeah, that guy.

[16:17] Liz: She was, they were in Merrily together.

[16:19] Jess: Oh, nice.

[16:20] Liz: Yeah.

[16:22] Jess: He was in that Hello Again movie, right?

[16:23] Liz: Yes.

[16:24] Jess: I watched that. I don't know why.

[16:26] Liz: The movie's good.

[16:27] Jess: That's why you watched it.

[16:28] Liz: It's pretty good actually.

[16:30] Jess: But yeah.

[16:31] Liz: Back to Hocus Pocus.

[16:32] Jess: Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't look like a horse.

[16:33] Liz: And she's beautiful.

[16:34] Jess: Yeah.

[16:35] Liz: Especially in the first one.

[16:36] Jess: The first movie is a classic just because you can kind of phase in and out of it. Like there's just big moments and you can just pop in for the big moments.

[16:49] Liz: Yeah.

[16:50] Jess: It's the perfect thing to put on when you're decorating your house because like, as soon as there's a good scene, you can sit and watch it, but then you just walk around.

[16:57] Liz: Yeah.

[16:58] Jess: And there's fun moments throughout. And like, it's consistently fun, even if you are paying attention the whole time. Like it's, it's not like the Polar Express, which I would describe as a glorified Christmas wallpaper that you just put on your computer and it just has Christmas images.

[17:15] Liz: You put on mute. That's how I describe it.

[17:17] Jess: I tried watching that. I tried watching that once. It was horrifying.

[17:20] Liz: That's what the Polar Express basically is. A bunch of Christmas images that you have on your TV while no one's watching it.

[17:28] Jess: So it's a Yule log of a movie.

[17:30] Liz: Yes.

[17:31] Jess: That movie is a movie Yule log.

[17:33] Liz: Ah.

[17:34] Jess: So Robert Zemeckis spent millions of dollars on a Yule log.

[17:37] Liz: Hmm.

[17:38] Jess: Yeah. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time. I mean, Beowulf is way worse.

[17:42] Liz: No, Beowulf actually had a story and a script written by Neil Gaiman.

[17:47] Jess: And it's pretty decent.

[17:48] Liz: Um, Pinocchio is the one step below a Yule log.

[17:53] Jess: Oh yeah.

[17:54] Liz: Oh yeah.

[17:55] Jess: If you guys want us to cover that, let us know.

[17:57] Liz: Oh yeah.

[17:58] Jess: I don't even know where to put The Witches.

[18:01] Liz: Oh, The Witches.

[18:02] Jess: Oh, The New Witches.

[18:03] Liz: Yeah.

[18:07] Jess: Robert Zemeckis took a turn in this latter half of his career.

[18:11] Liz: That's the same guy that made Castaway and Forrest Gump and all the Back to the Future movies and Roger Rabbit.

[18:12] Jess: Yeah.

[18:13] Liz: That's one of my favorite movies too.

[18:15] Jess: He's made, like one of my favorite films of all time is when he directed is What Lies Beneath.

[18:21] Liz: Oh yeah.

[18:22] Jess: Oh yeah.

[18:24] Liz: I heard about that.

[18:25] Jess: You should watch it because before someone spoils it for you.

[18:27] Liz: I have no idea. No one has told me what happens. My dad would have told me by now and he hasn't seen it clearly.

[18:32] Jess: Because the trailers just ruined the twist, which is why I get bad reviews. And I'm like, no, it's a good movie. Just don't ruin the twist for yourself.

[18:40] Liz: Yeah. That's why I avoid trailers for certain movies.

[18:44] Jess: Like all the screen movies, I avoid trailers.

[18:47] Liz: That's fair.

[18:48] Jess: Yeah. We need to get back to hoker poker.

[18:51] Liz: We do.

[18:52] Jess: It's fun.

[18:53] Liz: It's a lot of fun.

[18:54] Jess: The first one is a good time, but they just released the second one.

[19:01] Liz: I watched it this weekend with my parents the same way I used to watch the original as a kid.

[19:05] Jess: What did you think of it, Liz?

[19:08] Liz: It was adequate.

[19:11] Jess: My literal review is it's fine.

[19:14] Liz: Yeah. It was like the first movie, but a little less charming.

[19:20] Jess: And a little less edgy and feels a little bit made by numbers.

[19:25] Liz: It's now made by a Disney that is a little more careful than it was in 93.

[19:30] Jess: So it's very different.

[19:33] Liz: We're out of the Eisner years, baby.

[19:35] Jess: Eisner's gone.

[19:36] Liz: Eisner's gone.

[19:37] Jess: Did Eiger retire or not?

[19:40] Liz: Yeah, he's been gone for a while.

[19:42] Jess: Oh, I do want to bring up this other fun fact with the first Hocus Pocus. When do you think they released that?

[19:48] Liz: Um, probably like November, October, September, they released it in July.

[19:56] Jess: Oh, because they were they had two Halloween movies and they didn't want them to compete against each other. One of them was the Nightmare Before Christmas.

[20:05] Liz: Oh, I also haven't seen that.

[20:08] Jess: So they were betting on Nightmare and then they both flopped.

[20:11] Liz: Do you think it's a Christmas movie or a Halloween movie?

[20:14] Jess: I think it's both.

[20:16] Liz: So you're neutral.

[20:20] Jess: I mean, my girlfriend is very keen that it is a Christmas movie because it ends at Christmas.

[20:25] Liz: But I'm like, but there's so many Halloween vibes start to end.

[20:31] Jess: My favorite Christmas movie right now is Silly Night, Deadly Night part two.

[20:35] Liz: Did you see the commercial for the new Santa Claus trailer with?

[20:37] Jess: No, no, no, no. I was too busy watching too busy watching Terrence Adinich's terribleness.

[20:43] Liz: So I did not check it out.

[20:45] Jess: Holy shit. That movie looks so fun.

[20:48] Liz: It looks like it has heart.

[20:49] Jess: Does it look like if it's Santa's sleigh was good?

[20:53] Liz: When you say Santa's sleigh, you know, the only thing that comes into my head.

[20:58] Jess: Fran Drescher?

[20:59] Liz: No, but that's funny.

[21:00] Jess: Funny thing.

[21:02] Liz: It's the. Have you seen Ernest Saves Christmas?

[21:05] Jess: No, they have an evil Santa or a Santa that is in a movie called Santa's sleigh.

[21:12] Liz: And it's like, I thought you were in a show called Santa's sleigh.

[21:14] Jess: Yeah, Santa's sleigh.

[21:20] Liz: Yeah, so that's all I can think about.

[21:21] Jess: We should cover it.

[21:22] Liz: We should do a commentary on Ernest Saves Christmas.

[21:24] Jess: Yeah, that would be fun.

[21:26] Liz: That'd be fun. I'll just quote the nostalgia critic review the entire time.

[21:30] Jess: I haven't seen it. So you can probably laugh at some of them.

[21:35] Liz: Yeah. That infamous review where Doug Walker said the N-word.

[21:40] Jess: He did?

[21:41] Liz: Yeah, I think it's cut out of more recent versions, but I remember it very specifically like, oh, that was a.

[21:49] Jess: OK, Doug.

[21:50] Liz: Good Lord, Doug.

[21:53] Jess: It's where Santa Claus gets put in prison and he does an impression of him and he's like, what up, my.

[21:59] Liz: Oh, no.

[22:02] Jess: Like, oh, no.

[22:03] Liz: My friend hard.

[22:07] Jess: Somehow no one's ever brought that one back up.

[22:10] Liz: We should talk about that.

[22:13] Jess: Twitter, get on it.

[22:14] Liz: Hey, why don't we give a list of Doug Walker sins like we'd had for Lindsay?

[22:19] Jess: Oh, gosh.

[22:21] Liz: I noticed we haven't done that one yet.

[22:22] Jess: Well, I guess what what would you call the change the channel, Doug?

[22:26] Liz: Oh, that's a list of sins.

[22:28] Jess: I guess I kind of was.

[22:29] Liz: I mean, Ned Fulmer recently had that happen.

[22:33] Jess: Oh, what did I?

[22:35] Liz: In our Devil's Carnival episode, I described Terrence the Doonish as emo girls, Ned Fulmer.

[22:40] Jess: It's it's kind of close, but it's a.

[22:45] Liz: You're a little on it.

[22:46] Jess: It's it's all icky.

[22:48] Liz: Terrence the Doonish sucks, and so does Ned Fulmer.

[22:51] Jess: I mean, yeah, I think there's going to be more to the Ned Fulmer story.

[22:57] Liz: I get the sense there's a lot they're keeping out.

[23:00] Jess: We're going to have to see it.

[23:02] Liz: Grab the popcorn, kids.

[23:04] Jess: Get the popcorn and get on Twitter.

[23:07] Liz: Was there anything about Hocus Pocus, too, that you liked better than the first one?

[23:11] Jess: Hannah Waddingham.

[23:12] Liz: She is barely in it.

[23:14] Jess: I know. I know.

[23:15] Liz: I just when she showed up, I was very happy.

[23:18] Jess: I was, too.

[23:19] Liz: But that's a pretty scene with the kids.

[23:23] Jess: I will say that scene is unnecessary to a degree because it's stupid and pointless.

[23:29] Liz: And also, the woods didn't exist in the first movie, so they made it up for this one.

[23:34] Jess: Yeah. Why don't I go to the woods in the first?

[23:37] Liz: Anyway, this is written by a different person.

[23:39] Jess: The first one is written by like Mick Garris and some guy.

[23:41] Liz: Yeah. Garris only makes boring horror movies, so.

[23:46] Jess: God damn it, Garris.

[23:47] Liz: And have you seen who the director of Hocus Pocus, too, was?

[23:51] Jess: I know the first one is directed by the high school musical guy, but I have not.

[23:55] Liz: Oh, God, I didn't ask for you.

[23:58] Jess: We have a guest.

[24:00] Liz: It was Siri trying to answer for me.

[24:03] Jess: There's also a Siri joke in this movie, and it is horrible.

[24:07] Liz: I think most Siri jokes are pretty bad.

[24:09] Jess: It's Anne Fletcher. And if that name sounds familiar to you, it's because she directed The Proposal and she's known for choreographing a lot of drag performers.

[24:20] Liz: That's why they got drag queens in there.

[24:24] Jess: There's a lot of drag and trans representation in this.

[24:30] Liz: She also directed Hot Pursuit, The Guilt Trip, 27 Dresses.

[24:35] Jess: My mom loves that movie.

[24:37] Liz: Oh, she did Dumplin'. I love that movie.

[24:39] Jess: It's very underrated.

[24:40] Liz: Now, I'm not even saying anything bad about Anne Fletcher, but I don't think she was a right choice for this one.

[24:46] Jess: You can feel the TV movie budget to this real hard.

[24:51] Liz: Yeah. The Walgreens ad.

[24:54] Jess: Yeah, the Walgreens ad right at the top. Like, I mean, it's like, let's go to Walgreens. OK.

[25:02] Liz: Which is like a crappy right, which is already a crappy different pharmacy, so. Yeah.

[25:09] Andrew: A couple jokes I laughed pretty hard at. They're like dumb visual gags, but I laughed more than I'd like to say. Like when the teenagers come to get a selfie and they have the skin smoothing feature on so they think they're younger. That made me laugh and I thought that was pretty clever. Yeah, no, that was generally like a good joke for like using a phone as a joke. Like, okay, is there some grasp here? I also liked when the book was sweating. I thought that was a funny gag. I like how the book is more of a person in this movie, I will say. Yeah, it had a personality. In the first movie, it's just a book that moves sometimes when beckoned, but now it's like a person. Like, oh, it's a character.

I like that little change. That being said, the only one... There's a lot of bad jokes. There's a lot of bad jokes. And the only one that feels 100% like bringing it is Kathy Najimy. Did you notice that she switched what side her lazy jaw was on? I double-featured this, so I noticed it. And I was like, that's delightful. That reminds me a lot of the thing in Young Frankenstein, where Igor was constantly changing the position of his hump in every scene. It was just like, I like that. I think that's a hilarious thing. And also means that if she goes to a con, she can put it on either side, depending on what side her jaw feels like it's hurting. Yeah, and she can switch it midday and no one will say, oh, you changed your mouth position. How dare you? It's on the wrong side. It's wrong. Bitch, I'm Kathy Najimy. I'm the origin of this character. Fuck you.

[26:47] Jess: Yeah, exactly. Kathy Najimy is great. Kathy Najimy is underrated in both of these movies. I know people talk about like Bette Midler and Sarah Jessica Parker being hot, but like Kathy Najimy is bringing it in the back, like doing so good. Well, she's the only one that has the same energy in this one. It's like she's lost some weight and all three of them look older, like they've aged. Bette Midler, nearly 80, a lot of energy. Wish you weren't a transphobic bitch. I really wish too. I really like this character. I wish the actors didn't suck. Sarah Jessica Parker looks lost in this role, in the sequel. She has nothing to do. She has, like to be the hot one was still pretty degrading, but she did a lot with that and it looked like she's, she just looks lost here.

[27:35] Andrew: Yeah, like the script doesn't know where to put her at all. Yeah. And they try to occasionally give her moments where she's a little dim in the back and then like there's a scene, there's a scene in the beginning where it's like we don't need to beckon children and we need to do this other thing and Sarah Jessica Parker's like, but that's my only job. And then I was like, oh no, she's going to do nothing this entire movie. And boy, aren't you right. And boy, did she. Strangely, the one that does more is Doug Jones as Billy Butcherson. Which is, I love that so much. That is one of the more inspired sections of this sequel. Aren't Sam Richardson and Doug Jones just hanging out sometimes? It was like, this is the fun, this is so much fun. Like, I love this.

[28:12] Jess: I agree. And I also love Sam Richardson. I have a, I love him so much. Sam Richardson, I feel like. He was in, have you seen I Think You Should Leave? That's who I'm thinking of. He was the host of the Baby Pageant in season one. Yes, but more importantly, he was on Detroiters. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, which was him and Tim Robinson's project before I Think You Should Leave.

[28:41] Andrew: Oh, nice. Which was shot entirely in Detroit and basically hired a lot of Detroit people for a very long time. Love it. Yeah, because they're Michiganders. Hey, they were both born in Detroit.

[28:56] Jess: Shut up. No, I'm kidding. My town only has Bam Margera as a notable person born here.

[29:02] Andrew: I can appreciate the fact that I've got I Think You Should Leave guys because they're probably the only funny people in the world right now.

[29:08] Jess: Yeah, I have Bam Margera and Ryan Dunn came to visit sometimes.

[29:17] Andrew: You're just making people up now.

[29:23] Jess: No, they were in Jackass. They were people.

[29:26] Andrew: I don't know. Yeah, he's very good. A lot of fun. I will say the young versions of them, they're a little obnoxious, but they do it well. The one playing Bette Midler, Winnie, very, very good. Very good. I think she deserves a lot of props because that's a really hard character to pull off. It's very Bette Midler's own head with what she's doing. And so you can't copy it fully, but you have to make it your own. And she did it really well. The other ones were just there. They were just children. I think Najimy's main thing is moving her mouth to one side and being like mumbling in the background so that actors couldn't do much because I think that's a witch thing to move your mouth to the side, I guess.

[30:06] Andrew: Yeah, she doesn't do it as a kid. No. What else did I? Let's talk about Tobias Funke. No, it's not Tobias.

[30:21] Jess: Tony Hale.

[30:27] Andrew: Which guy from Resident Evil? I think it's Tobias.

[30:32] Jess: Was it Tobias? Confession, I've only seen some of the rest of the development, so I don't know off the top of my head.

[30:37] Andrew: Yeah, it was Buster Bluth. He's the guy who lost his hand, and they made that really funny joke about him losing his hand that goes around the internet.

[30:41] Jess: To a Lucille.

[30:47] Andrew: Yeah, to a Lucille. I like him in modern day. I wish he had just played it straight when we were in the olden days in Salem and not just been his usual stuff. Tony Hale.

[30:56] Jess: Because I like Tony Hale in Toy Story 4. He's the best part of that movie. He can give a good, quieter performance, but I don't know. He overdoes it.

[31:09] Andrew: Yes. He overplays his hand. No pun intended. I didn't even realize I was saying that. Did you like any of the new kids?

[31:17] Jess: The fact that they're girls and they're witches? Honestly, the kids don't have much to do in any of these movies besides exist and try to make the witches go away, so they have the personality of a brick half the time.

[31:31] Andrew: What are you talking about? One's a virgin and one's a kid. And one is a bitch who abandoned them, even though it was all a big misunderstanding and it was a non-issue by the end of the movie. I like how the best part of the first one, in my opinion, is the bullies where one of them just has ice cut into his hair. Like, that's such a ridiculous thing, and seeing their comeuppance is so great, and there's nothing. That first scene is like he says, like, no, my name is Ice, remember? Do it again! It's like, okay, sorry. And it's like, hi, I'm whatever, and I'm Ice. That's fucking hilarious, and to the film's credit, not a single thing is as funny as just a guy with ice shaved into the back of his head.

[32:21] I wonder what happened to those kids in the modern day. Were they still there?

[32:24] Andrew: Yeah, they were left in the cage.

[32:26] Jess: Yeah, they're skeletons.

[32:29] Andrew: And he got his shoes back. He did get his shoes back. Yeah, they're still in shoes in this one. Those are very 90s lines, like, nice new whatevers, I don't know. Hollywood! Hollywood!

[32:40] Jess: I like the new kids well enough. Like, I like that they're girls and they're witches. It was a little, like, PG, the craft. I just wish that they had more character. And I love, I just wish there was actual character with them. Like, even the first one had the virgin thing that gave them enough character, and Dani, to her credit, brought a lot of character to what could have just been an annoying kid sidekick. Her dynamic with the cat, which was, that became Thackeray, is adorable. We don't have anything even close to that in this one.

[33:15] Andrew: Yeah, they're like friends, and then they just are not friends, and then they're friends magically via magic.

[33:20] Jess: Yeah. Because they're all witches now. Witch power, activate! Form of friendship!

[33:28] Andrew: Can't wait for Hocus Pocus 3 when they have less personality.

[33:32] Jess: I know, these witches aren't coming back. They're just not gonna be in these movies anymore.

[33:37] Andrew: They'll be too old.

[33:39] Jess: Yeah.

[33:40] Andrew: No, they'll make it a legacy sequel where they bring back, you know, Max and Dani and Girl.

[33:45] Jess: Everyone's favorite characters.

[33:49] Andrew: Girl. One thing I will say about the first movie is, towards the end, the actor playing Max is, while trying to call for Dani, sometimes it sounds like Denny.

[33:57] Jess: Denny!

[33:59] Andrew: And then I immediately think of the room, and then I completely lose it in my own head. Imagine if Tommy was playing Winifred.

[34:10] Jess: I can't do a Tommy Wiseau impression, so I can't do it.

[34:11] Andrew: I put a spell on you, and now you're gone.

[34:17] Jess: What's the line?

[34:18] Andrew: Who would Greg play?

[34:22] Jess: Greg would be Max.

[34:25] Andrew: Yeah, Greg would be Max, because he's the main character.

[34:26] Jess: And then Denny would be the cat.

[34:31] Andrew: Denny would be the cat. He would just be a human in cat ears.

[34:34] Jess: Dani, what are you doing? What's going on here?

[34:39] Andrew: I just like to watch.

[34:42] Jess: I would love it. And just keep Sarah Jessica Parker.

[34:44] Andrew: Yeah, keep her in as the same character.

[34:45] Jess: And Kathy Najimy.

[34:47] Andrew: Kathy Najimy's also still here. It's just Denny, who's a cat, but a human.

[34:49] Jess: Tommy Wiseau and Greg.

[34:52] Andrew: Oh, we got magic in the mix here.

[34:55] Jess: Someone make a Photoshop edit of that.

[34:58] Andrew: Do it. Do it, cowards.

[35:00] Jess: Maybe I will. Who knows?

[35:02] Andrew: Who knows? The future is not ours to see.

[35:05] Jess: It's uncertain.

[35:07] Andrew: So, I really just...

[35:11] Jess: At the end of it, the tonal whiplash of the end sequence is a mess. I liked what they were going for. The importance of sisterhood, which is basically the lesson in Frozen, but now they've recycled 16 times in every movie, because people were proud of them for being progressive. It's not even that progressive, guys. Calm down. Calm down. God forbid I love my sister.

[35:37] Andrew: You know what? It would have made more sense with Max and Dani.

[35:43] Jess: Yeah, that would have been great.

[35:45] Andrew: Power siblings.

[35:46] Jess: Maybe Dani gets corrupted somehow, and then Max has to save her with brotherly love or some shit. Like, that is actually a properly beautiful scene, in my opinion.

[35:58] Andrew: Yeah, that scene at the end where it's just like, I really appreciate you. I'm glad you're safe. It was very sweet.

[36:04] Jess: And it didn't feel overwrought, the way a lot of these sibling stories go, where she's like, why do you help me? He's like, yeah, you're my sister, duh.

[36:12] Andrew: Yeah.

[36:13] Jess: I have an older brother. We have a very similar dynamic to that, and it's like, oh, wait, this is real. My brother will hate me sometimes, but because he loves me to the end, it will protect me when he needs to.

[36:25] Andrew: So, especially when I was a kid.

[36:28] Jess: Yeah, it's like one of those themes that works very well, and until it doesn't, which is, and when it doesn't, it really doesn't.

[36:36] Andrew: Like, here.

[36:37] Jess: Yeah, it doesn't work. They're an abusive relationship. Let's not pretend they love each other.

[36:43] Andrew: Yeah, so basically, the plot of the second one is they're trying to enact this spell to make them all powerful witches or something, instead of trying to-

[36:51] Jess: Weren't they already all powerful?

[36:53] Andrew: No, they have to use a book to do magic. They don't want to use the book anymore. They want to go wireless or something. So, they do the spell, but the teens discover the warning of you have to sacrifice what you love the most, and apparently what Bette Midler loves the most is her sister she abuses constantly and yells at for being pretty.

[37:12] Jess: And seems to hate.

[37:13] Andrew: And seems to just tolerate being around.

[37:16] Jess: Because who else? They can't leave.

[37:19] Andrew: I feel like they wrote the prologue just to justify this ending.

[37:23] Jess: A little bit. Like, we need to show that she actually cares.

[37:27] Andrew: At least cared in 1693.

[37:31] Jess: Doesn't care anymore.

[37:35] Andrew: I don't know. That just felt-

[37:40] Jess: I feel like Winnie would be happy that her sisters were dead if she-

[37:44] Jess: I think she'd be thrilled, honestly. Like, especially after marathoning the first one. Yeah, like, that seems like she'd be...character-wise, she'd be happy that she's an all-powerful witch without her stupid sisters trying to tear down her evil plans. Not sad and crying and begging for teens who aren't also conveniently witches because the plot needed them to be for this ending to work.

[38:08] Liz: We are a coven.

[38:12] Jess: We're a coven now. This is the craft for children. I mean, there's things like that that are kind of cool, but in the end it just falls flat. It's fine. Did you like the fact that they walked like the witches did, but it's them now?

[38:26] Liz: Yeah, it was so funny. It was a nice callback. I don't...I didn't. Honestly, the only thing I got from that ending was the bird that looks like Hannah Waddingham showed up, and I thought she was going to make another cameo, and I got excited, and then she didn't really show up.

[38:40] Jess: Okay, I will say I do kind of like the movie a little bit better, not because of what it is, but because of what it isn't. Does this make sense? So I was expecting, when I heard that Hannah Waddingham was in, and I saw the images of her, like, oh, she's the new big bad, and they'll be like enemy of my enemy is my friend, and team up with our heroes, and by proxies these witches would turn out to be the good guys because they're at least fighting for good on this thing. A greater evil, and I'm like, boy, that's gonna suck. Why can't we just have them be evil?

[39:15] Liz: So I was just happy that they still wanted to kill children.

[39:19] Jess: Yeah, I was happy about that. I was worried they were gonna sanitize it even further. Like, no, we like kids now. We just...we just want to, like, be witches. Like, no, you hate children. Hate children. Turn them into the goofy, funny characters, like, without any of the edge.

[39:37] Liz: But they still had their murderous edge.

[39:39] Jess: Yeah, they still...a little bit. They did sing songs a few too many times.

[39:44] Liz: Maybe too many times. Unfortunately, they sang cover songs instead of I Put a Spell on You, which is a bop.

[39:50] Jess: Yes, and it feels less thematically connected. Like, I Put a Spell on You feels very thematically connected to them, but One Way or Another has too many connotations, where when I hear that, I think the Rugrats movie.

[40:07] Liz: Yeah, that's true. And, like, 15 other movies too. Or ads on TV, like, for cars. Even, like, even for some people, like, Glee, because it was on at least once, so.

[40:19] Jess: Who sang it?

[40:20] Liz: Uh, Santana.

[40:25] Jess: Is that Naya Rivera?

[40:26] Liz: Naya Rivera and Amber Riley did a lot of the singing on that one.

[40:28] Jess: That's why it's memorable. Okay, again. Only a little bit of Lea Michele on that one.

[40:35] Liz: Did Diana Argon sing anything ever?

[40:38] Jess: She did. She did. She didn't hit a lot of solos, but she got a few.

[40:42] Liz: Okay. Except for season one, there's a song that she should have sang solo, but she didn't. Anyway, I'm not gonna get into it.

[40:48] Jess: Why didn't she sing it?

[40:50] Liz: I have no idea.

[40:52] Jess: Did she have to duet with Lea Michele, or if Lea Michele was gonna shit in someone's wig?

[40:57] Liz: At that point in the show, she was sad and pregnant, so I guess the writer's like, no, she can't sing. She's sad.

[41:05] Jess: I've felt that before. I've been sad, and I couldn't sing.

[41:08] Liz: Yeah, and... oh, really?

[41:12] Jess: Yeah, for real. I was, like, really sad, and I couldn't sing.

[41:15] Liz: Oh.

[41:17] Jess: Broke.

[41:18] Liz: Yeah. Now he can't sing.

[41:21] Jess: I've never experienced that.

[41:23] Liz: Being so sad he couldn't sing?

[41:25] Jess: Yeah.

[41:26] Liz: Wow.

[41:27] Jess: I don't really sing, though. I was in crew.

[41:29] Liz: I gave you my music, made your song take wing!

[41:35] Jess: I was in stage crew. If the Phantom showed up, I would, like, put his music in a drawer and give it to my friend. Like, Phantom, I can't sing. I told you this. You've heard my car singing. Like, it's awful. Just take it away.

[41:48] Liz: Give me a little Alanis. Come on, let me just hear a little Alanis. Let me just sing along to songs in the car when no one's in, so no one hears me singing.

[41:56] Jess: You, you, you oughta know!

[42:00] Liz: Oh, god. On that note, what is your overall thoughts on both the Hocus Pocus movies and your cheese ratings?

[42:06] Jess: Ah, they were... the first one, I think, was delightful. Honestly, if I had a child in my family who hadn't seen it, I would definitely show it to them, just as, like, a fun little Halloween movie to watch with them. It's, like, a little dark, but it's a lot of fun. I put a spell on you as a bop. Also, that song Sarah Jessica Parker sings to lure children in is really pretty good, too.

[42:28] Liz: That was a sexual awakening for many a young man and woman.

[42:33] Jess: You included, I presume?

[42:34] Liz: And non-binaries, I'm sure.

[42:36] Jess: Yeah, dope, most definitely. A lot of gays. A lot of gays love this movie, and I see why. So, I enjoyed it.

[42:43] Liz: Yeah.

[42:44] Jess: Second one had a lot to be desired, but I liked what they were trying.

[42:49] Liz: Wait, they had drag race contestants.

[42:51] Jess: I was gonna mention that, too. I know all of them.

[42:54] Liz: Yeah, I was very excited about that. Also, one of them was in an acting challenge that was really bad, and she did really well in this movie, and I'm so proud of her. I'm so proud.

[43:04] Jess: How do you do an acting challenge?

[43:07] Liz: I don't watch drag race.

[43:08] Jess: Oh, do you want me to show it to you? I can show it to you.

[43:10] Liz: Yeah, whatever. Show it to me.

[43:12] Jess: I will. I will look it up. But yeah, it's Ginger Minj from All Stars, Season 7, All Stars 2, and All Stars 6. Uh, Cornbread the Snack J'ete.

[43:20] Liz: Corn Puddin'?

[43:26] Jess: No, uh, Cornbread the Snack J'ete. That's her drag name. She came out as trans, so I think that's just the name she, uh, goes as now.

[43:34] Liz: Okay, so there's a line between trans and drag.

[43:40] Jess: There's a line, but some drag queens use their actual names when they're in drag. Like Gigi Goode uses her legal name in drag.

[43:48] Liz: Their legal name, I think.

[43:49] Jess: Yeah, non-binary trans. Um, yeah, and then it was, uh, yeah, Kimora Hall, who was on, the first eliminated on Season 14.

[43:58] Liz: Okay, okay, hold on real quick. As we are recording this, um, I'll tell you later. Let's watch this real quick. I want to see what this is.

[44:10] Jess: I can't hear it.

[44:15] Liz: Oh, I have headphones in probably, yeah.

[44:17] Jess: No, you have to share your audio.

[44:19] Liz: Oh, I do? When you share these, yeah.

[44:22] Jess: Okay, let me stop. Let me... Well, I'll give you the big announcement. Dank Brandon is trending right now because Joe Biden announces pardon of federal simple marijuana possession offenses to direct admin to review expeditiously how marijuana is scheduled under federal law. Marijuana reform stalled in Congress. So many, so many Dems have been pushing this option, which is fantastic news. Um, people that are in prison for laws that don't matter anymore really should be let out of prison.

[44:55] Jess: Ooh. Okay, I think I figured it out. I figured it out. I got it. All right, what do we got?

[45:17] Liz: I wouldn't know how to deliver these lines either.

[45:28] Jess: It was a reference to when Tyra freaked out.

[45:30] Liz: Oh, I know it's a reference.

[45:32] Jess: That was their, those are going for, but she did not. She just didn't get it.

[45:36] Liz: I don't get it.

[45:37] Jess: Yeah, I didn't get it. It was, it did the joke. Drag race acting challenges are awful on a general scale. Um, but yeah, the drag peep, drag queen, peep, drag, the drag race people need to be in it more and eating more ginger minge.

[45:54] Liz: Ginger minge is delightful. Maybe we should do drag race on the show one day.

[46:01] Jess: Maybe just the Roozicles.

[46:03] Liz: The Roozicles.

[46:04] Jess: The Roo Musicals. There's a, there's one that's a Moulin Rouge take that's full of RuPaul songs instead of the actual songs from the show.

[46:18] Liz: Like does RuPaul compose music?

[46:21] Jess: RuPaul make, you didn't know RuPaul makes music?

[46:24] Liz: Look at me. Do I look like someone that knows that stuff?

[46:28] Jess: That's true. Your honor, just look at him. RuPaul makes a lot of music. You, one bit, one of the things of watching drag race is you get, does it develop Stockholm syndrome? Whether you try and you can't figure out whether you like RuPaul's music or you just are listening to it so much that you just like it now because you can't stop listening to it because you have to listen to it when you go in drag race.

[46:52] Liz: So RuPaul makes a lot of music.

[46:56] Jess: I just know a lot of it isn't good.

[46:57] Liz: That you don't call RuPaul a drag queen. They are the queen of drag.

[47:02] Jess: RuPaul is the queen of drag. Don't, embarrassing to me.

[47:09] Liz: That is one of the best moments in television history.

[47:12] Jess: It's literally a hook of a RuPaul song too.

[47:15] Liz: What is it?

[47:16] Jess: A drag queen.

[47:17] Liz: It's drag queen.

[47:18] Jess: I'm the queen of drag and she repeats it like 15 times.

[47:20] Liz: The song is called I'm that bitch.

[47:24] Jess: I wish to be that bitch one day. It's a decent song. At least the cast version is good. I don't know if I want to be 100% that bitch like Lizzo, but I do want to be that bitch. I want to be like 25% that bitch.

[47:39] Liz: Cheese rating.

[47:40] Jess: Cheese rating. Okay, second one is perfectly adequate. If you need something to watch on an afternoon, go for it, but it's not as good as the first one. If you've got some deep connection to the movie, you'll probably get what you're looking for out of it. You'll probably enjoy it. I don't have as much of a deep connection to it. So maybe I just don't get as much.

[47:56] Liz: Which is why I found your opinion interesting.

[48:00] Jess: Yeah, I just, it was fine. It didn't change my life, but it did its job. I'm going to give it orange cheese because it was the first, second one, we have orange cheese and the first one, I'm going to give a nice orange cheddar that actually tastes good.

[48:18] Liz: That's fair enough.

[48:21] Jess: First one, I like it. It is kind of a Halloween classic in my house. Is it really amazing? Probably not, but I enjoy it. So I'm giving it Red Witch Cheese, which is this cheese from I Gourmet. And apparently it's very good. And my cheese rating for the sequel is that same cheese, but left in the cabinet for a while. So it's a little stale now, but you know what? It'll probably still do the job.

[48:52] Liz: 29 years.

[48:55] Jess: 29. We didn't wait until 30.

[48:57] Liz: We weren't patient enough.

[49:01] Jess: You couldn't wait another year just for 30?

[49:02] Liz: Nice brown number. We don't know how much longer Bette Midler's got.

[49:05] Jess: That's true. She's 78 now. They got to make a third one before she gets too unhealthy.

[49:13] Liz: All right, guys. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next time on the Patreon with cheese.

[49:20] Jess: I put a spell on you and now you're mine.

[49:25] Liz: So spooky.

[49:26] Jess: We're so spooky now.