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[2:12] Andrew Norlen: Or even a safety net to catch me now. Shame for the student debt I feel like I'm drowning in endlessly every single day was suffocating to face at the dinner table that night. The next morning, I found myself FaceTiming one of my best friends just to vent and talk. She stopped me after I shared of my breakdown from the night before and she said, Andrew, have you thought about writing a letter, like a letter to yourself about what you miss, but as a way for you to grieve. We hung up and my wheels wouldn't stop spinning for 48 hours. I realized I need to do this. We all need to do this together. And then I got an idea. In the fall of 2021, we will publish this coffee table book on Amazon. Once available for purchase, 90% of the profits raised will directly benefit the Actors Fund, putting the money directly back into our industry.

This book is a chance for us to grieve together, to reflect in an intentional way, to use our voices to create this history book that will be around forever, telling future generations what this difficult time was like, and telling our stories of resilience, hardship, and struggle throughout it. I've been so touched and moved to read the letters that have been pouring in from performers and arts workers behind the scenes too, not just from Broadway, not just from New York, not just from regional theaters, but from all over the country, sharing their stories. Remember that your story is worth sharing because it's yours. And I think my favorite part about this project is that it's going to help people beyond this moment, beyond your career, beyond my career, forever.

So I hope you will check out our website at whenthelightsarebrightagain.com. Learn more there about the Actors Fund, and then find the section on the website to submit your letter, which will then take you to a Google form where you can fill in all the blanks and submit your letter to be a part of this forever book, a book by our industry, for our industry, and immortalizing our history forever. Thank you so much. I cannot wait to read your letters. Be well, be kind, and be brave. We got this.

[4:50] Dear Stephanie, when the lights are bright again, you will feel the magical power of truly healing.

[4:58] Stephanie Bissonnette: Your struggles will finally feel like they have passed. You will feel the joys of sharing your passion and what you have trained tirelessly to achieve since you were five years old. A dream you manifested and worked for was taken away by this virus. However, this love has always been more than just the shows, the costumes, and the glory. It took away connection, the feeling of sharing a space with other artists, dance classes filled with poised and perspiring bodies, sharing the gift of dance, and inspiring one another to push a little further, give a little more, and be vulnerable with our stories. You will feel this high again, that feeling of euphoria as you pant from exhausting your limbs from reaching farther, digging deeper, and kicking higher.

A glorious release where the world disappears and you can just be, exist, free. Your journey has been filled with ups and downs, as are most epic sagas. You are a survivor in every sense of the word. In 2014, you moved to the greatest city in the world. In 2016, you earned your place in the union by pounding the pavement, earning every last point. In 2018, you booked your dream job and helped create a Broadway hit from the very beginning. You worked with people you have idolized for years and finally felt like your moment had arrived. Every dream came true. In 2019, you were faced with your biggest challenge and still managed to come out on top, fighting back from a cancerous brain tumor to don the stage once again.

The show was the light at the end of the tunnel. Then in 2020, that dream was once again taken away by disease and fear. Now in 2021, that light at the end of the tunnel has seemed to have been extinguished. The show closed. No hope of returning to Broadway once the pandemic was over. I know this time was incredibly dark. You are a survivor. You always find a way. We all do. We fight to live and dance another day. When the lights are bright again, you will feel the rush of nerves in the wings before the downbeat of the overture. You will start new adventures and meet new people who will inspire you and help you on your journey. The excitement of sitting in an audience and clutching the playbill as the lights dim.

You will be reunited with so many friends, artists, and colleagues who have lifted you up in times of hardship and inspired you to keep pushing. You'll be united with those teachers that continue to invest in you even through a computer screen, never giving up on your potential and helping you continue to train. When the lights are bright again, you will feel complete, whole. It will be that opening night curtain call. Only the gratitude and joy will last longer than one night. It will live on every time the music plays and your soul moves you to dance. Always, Stephanie.

[7:56] Gabriella Sorrentino: We look to you in good times and bad. The worlds you create make the real ones seem less sad. The curtain goes up and every now and then it feels as if we're coming home again.

[8:20] Brittany Conigatti: Dear Brittany, when the lights are bright again, may you never take for granted the essence of time and the simplicity of being present. May you remember your resilience to adapt in the face of adversity, trauma, and the changes life has thrown at you, not only in your career but also in your personal life with the loss of your dad. May you remember the strength and trust you found within yourself to accept the new pathway and reality that has been presented to you. May you remember that this, in turn, has allowed you to soften and go through grief, realizations, growth, and finding the courage to sit in the unknown. May you remember that your worth is not solely your career and there is so much depth to you.

May you remember not to identify with the roles that you are given but by the character of your being. May you remember the positives that this time away from your career has given you. Time with your family, time with your fiancé, time with your closest friends, and most importantly, time with yourself. May you remember to be grateful for what you have, the body you are within, and the tribe of people you surround yourself with. May you remember to never take for granted the ability to perform on a Broadway stage again or be in a room filled with incredible artists. May you remember the impact you have made on the future artists you're teaching, and remember the joy you found in watching them grow week to week in discovering.

[9:43] Brittany Conigatti: May you remember to strive, persevere, and put good into the universe. May you remember to always acknowledge this tumultuous time and remember the hope you had for the future of theater and the lights being bright again. May you remember to continue to dream, because that is how you got where you are today. May you remember to always live life to the fullest, just like your dad. May you always remember to smile, feel, laugh, and be in the present moment, for that is the only moment that we have. Love, light, hope, and laughs, Brittany.

[10:40] Anna Eltide: That was performer Brittany Conigatti, who most recently toured the country with Mean Girls. Next up, here are letters from Rock of Ages' Kevin Rapone and Kiss Me Kate's Amanda LaMotte.

[11:03] Kevin Rapone: Dear Kevin, when the lights are bright again, I hope you don't forget the feeling of them hitting your face that first time back on stage. I hope you never take a single performance for granted and always remain thankful for those moments. When dealt hard times, I hope you remain kind and never let your emotions get the best of you, remembering what it felt like when all of it disappeared unexpectedly. Keep working hard and never give up on your dreams. Push yourself to meet the goals that you set for yourself, and always remember that we aren't promised anything in this life. Treat every day as your last. Be a good person. Stay humble. Love always and forever, Kevin.

[12:08] Amanda LaMotte: Dear Amanda, when the lights are bright again, remember this moment. Right here, right now, writing this letter to yourself when it has been more than a year from your last paid performance. Remember how difficult this time was, but also recall the clarity and reassurance it brought that this is what you are meant to do in your life. Remember the joy you felt any chance you got to dance, even if it was virtually. Remember how fulfilled you felt teaching students from all over the country and watching them progress and achieve their goals. Remember the ache you felt to return to the stage. Remember how you longed for the moment to be standing in your three-inch character heels for hours on end with blisters and muscle pains.

Remember the notes of encouragement throughout this difficult time from family and friends. Remember the hope you have for the future of the arts and the change it needs to propel. Remember the fight we must continue in order to find equity in our profession. As much as you want to forget the pain of this year and move on and never look back, don't. You must remember. And then remember to cherish every second of the lights being on again. For losing this gratitude, Amanda Lamotte.

[13:45] Jake Ryan Flynn: Last but certainly not least, we have letters from Mrs. Doubtfire's Jake Ryan Flynn, as well as Hamilton's Gabriela Sorrentino. Dear Jake, when the lights are bright again, I am so afraid I won't be there to celebrate with my cast family. When the lights went dark, I was playing 12-year-old Christopher Hillard in Mrs. Doubtfire the Musical. I am now 14 years old. I have grown 4 inches since the Broadway shutdown and my voice has dropped. I'm a child actor that is basically the kiss of death. The producer and director have let me know they want me back, but even I realize this has gone on way too long. No one knew this could shut down Broadway for a whole year. I am not mad, well I am mad, but not at anyone.

I am mainly sad. I loved performing on stage and this cast was amazing. Not just talent, this cast is amazing people. I miss them all so much and I just want to be there on the first day and hug and cry with everyone. That's what makes me the most sad. The thought of not being there to hug everyone and realize we made it, we've gone through this horrible period in our life. And honestly, I was so proud of myself for originating my second Broadway role in three years and I know that it's a selfish part of me and I will get over it, but I think it will always sting. Most of all, I just want Doubtfire to live on. It is an amazing show, Rob McClure is incredible, he deserves the Tony, the Tony was just sitting there waiting for him before the shutdown.

Even if I can't be there, the worst thing that could ever happen would be for the show not to survive, but I am certain it will, it is beautiful and will only be more amazing after the long wait. I am trying to protect my heart and move on, but it is hard to move on from these wonderful people and this amazing show, but deep down I am hopeful I will be there when the lights go back on. Holding on to hope, Jake.

[16:01] Gabriela Sorrentino: Dear Gabriella, when the lights are bright again, you will finally be back home. This time of stillness has definitely brought on its challenges, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. You have had to evaluate life and ask the question, what is my life like without the theater and the arts? It's been difficult to navigate that through this time because it is so much of who you are, being an artist, performer, teacher, and creator. You wake up every day wanting to go out into the world and get to do what you were born to do, and instead it feels like Groundhog Day. You sit around and are waiting for that phone to ring or for word that something is going to change. You have had to lose people during this pandemic and feel the pain and grief of them being gone.

It just feels like so much all at once. Sometimes you want to scream and cry, and at other times you just want to stay quiet and alone. But I know there is that light inside you that still believes, believes that this won't be forever. This is just a moment in time in your life that you have to fight through and push through. These are the moments to grow stronger and become a fighter. So that's what you're going to do. You are going to continue fighting and hoping for better and brighter days ahead. The day will come when music will be blaring from the theaters and cheers will be heard from the crowds. That will be a special day. So keep reminding yourself, this is only intermission, and we will be back again, better and stronger than ever. Holding on to hope, Gabriela.

[17:59] Anna Eltide: Special thanks to performers Andrew Norlin, Stephanie Bissonnette, Brittany Conigatti, Jake Ryan Flynn, Amanda LaMotte, Kevin Rapone, and Gabriela Sorrentino for sharing their letters with us. Please visit whenthelightsarebrightagain.com for more information, including how to submit your own letter if you are involved in the theater community. The Ensemblist was produced today by Mo Brady, Jackson Klein, and me, Anna Eltide. There are two great ways you can help the Ensemblist right now. One is by leaving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. The other is by becoming a Patreon member, which you can do at patreon.com slash the Ensemblist. Please follow us wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or at our home on Broadway Podcast Network at bpn.fm. You can also follow us on Instagram, where we share all of our latest episodes. Stay safe, and thanks for listening. Until next time.