Patrick Oliver Jones:

Well, hello again. Our last episode with actress and teacher, Akiko Aizawa, covered so much ground from her time as a modern dancer to her rocky start as an actress here in New York City. But one of my favorite parts of every conversation is when I get to ask the final five questions. And this is where we get to hear about personal lessons and hopes for the industry, and and these are moments that truly define an artist's career. So, Akiko, you ready for this?

Akiko Aizawa:

I'm ready.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Alright. Here we go. Well, number one, what do you remember most about your first professional show that you were in?

Akiko Aizawa:

Oh, yeah. It was in 1988 at the Sydney Opera House.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Oh, wow.

Akiko Aizawa:

Gorgeous. And, after I made the final exit, I reentered the stage again. I was so nervous and disoriented.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Well, that's such a huge stage. What what what were you performing?

Akiko Aizawa:

The Trojan women.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Oh, that was the Trojan women. Right?

Akiko Aizawa:

Yes. And then I made a big mistake. But it it the scene was the main character's monologue, so nobody realized me. But inside of me, first stage at Sydney Opera House, I failed. Was

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Oh, I know. I know. And like you said, probably very few people noticed it, but you knew it yourself. And that yeah. But but but you recovered, and and you made it through the rest of the performance. Right?

Akiko Aizawa:

Yes.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Exactly. Exactly.

Akiko Aizawa:

Okay.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Now now that must have been exciting for you to you know, having watched Trojan Women so many years before and now finally getting to do it. What what did it feel like being on stage versus being in the audience for that show?

Akiko Aizawa:

It was I I I cannot tell in the words. It was amazing, amazing experience. And then my muse, Kayako Shiraishi, did the Hekuba and the Cassandra and more layered Tokyo, homeless woman, three in one role. And on the stage, listening her voice, I was closed. The chorus members setting was the, blind. They were blind. And then also they were homeless. And then my whole hair, my body hair stood up.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Mhmm. So It must have been exciting.

Akiko Aizawa:

And then, you know, one more story. And in the city company, they did the Trojan women, and I did Cassandra.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Oh, okay. So there you go. Yeah. Again, full circle getting to do it.

Akiko Aizawa:

Circle.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yep. It's amazing. That's amazing.

Akiko Aizawa:

Thank you. Yeah.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

So number two, if you could give advice to your younger self starting out, what would that be?

Akiko Aizawa:

Mhmm. Use more money for my theater education.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Oh, okay. And and what type of education would did you wish you had had more of?

Akiko Aizawa:

Okay. Several, but mostly English. When I moved, to The States, Thirty Three years old at my age, and I ended up to the waiting table job a lot. I regret it. I liked that job, but looking back, my, advice for the younger of me is even if, borrowing the money from the other people, I should spend the time and certain money for the English. Mhmm.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure that, going from any one country to another one, you know, learning that language, learning that culture is is so important. I mean, it it was yeah. I mean, as much as I was cast in in Tokyo DisneySea, it was still, you know, a big language and culture to overcome as as I just lived and walked about Tokyo, you know, just just kinda getting around. And so it was, the the more the more that I learned, the better and easier it was for me to get around the city. So it it it it's very true just in your day to day life how that can be beneficial.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. And number three, what does success or making it mean to you?

Akiko Aizawa:

Important thing is the, find the beauty in the small success, maybe small happiness, I can say. Yeah. And then don't compare with the people, other people.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. That's a big one. What what small successes have you experienced in your career that have that have kept you going, kept you motivated?

Akiko Aizawa:

Mhmm. It's the, successful moment, fulfillment, mindful moment. I don't think I will, go with the successful life because life is up and down, up and down. But successful moment for me is even if I'm so tired, I didn't sleep not at all, or I I'm not ready. I'm not I didn't memorize the line. I'm sorry. But in the in the job rehearsal room or maybe some students didn't like me, obviously, or, especially in the show, on the stage, there is a moment. Yes.

Akiko Aizawa:

Yes. That's why I'm here. That kind of moment, if it's there for sometimes, not always, sometimes here, here, it's like dots and dots. It's before, and then it's successful.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Yeah. It's all about getting from moment to moment and stringing together those, you know, to to to look back on and and and really enjoy what you've done.

Akiko Aizawa:

Mhmm.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Very good. Very good. And then you also mentioned comparing ourselves to others, which is, which is so hard. That's so hard to to not do because we see other people either successful or doing things that we wanna be doing or they're more talented, they have a better voice, whatever it is. It can be difficult. How have you managed not comparing yourself to others? How how have you done that?

Akiko Aizawa:

Yeah. Unfortunately, I'm not successful on that question. I'm I'm constantly, constantly, constantly, always comparing the other people. So it's the yeah. I'm practicing.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Yeah. Again, because

Akiko Aizawa:

Meditation is good.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

How has that helped you?

Akiko Aizawa:

Calm down, me, myself, and then don't think too much.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Get out of our head. Right?

Akiko Aizawa:

Yeah. Let it go. Let it go.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Alright. Well, number four, what changes would you like to see in the industry moving forward?

Akiko Aizawa:

Yeah. That's oh, yeah. The is it okay? Yeah. It might be small thing, but for me, it'll be, very great that if I'm getting the audition failure, I need that notice. You failed. That's the fact. And especially when I'm in the term of the first refusal or avail or hold hold or shortlist debt. Yeah.

Akiko Aizawa:

And why you don't say anything? And I I I if it you you said or the industry said, thank you. You are released. It's really grateful to how to use my mental health or the mental power to go forward. And then, actually, several, clients, the employer did it, and then I really, really got relieved. Thank you. You're released. And let me just yes.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Now I think I can count on my hand the number of times in my whole career, my thirty year plus career, that I have actually been told no. I've I've assumed no because the show went on without me or, you know, the commercial date passed and I didn't get it. You know? I've I've assumed a lot of no's, but actually being told thank you, but no thank you. We're moving on in a different direction. You know? See you next time or whatever. You know? Something

Akiko Aizawa:

I I think that's healthy way to go. Hang in this in that state is ridiculous. Why they didn't tell me? I'm totally okay. And then I'm thankful for the opportunity. Just say no. It's like that, you you know, the the I love you, and then that's the people I confessed. It's like you're thinking about it.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Yeah.

Akiko Aizawa:

And then no reply, it's it's the torture.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Because I I could think of two auditions where I was I was doing this, this on camera audition. They had a teleprompter there. So I'm going through, and I finished the audition. And the guy behind the camera was like, that that was an amazing read. You you did so well. That was so good. Thank you so much.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Oh my gosh. You you're one of the best readers today. I was like, great. Never heard from it. Never heard anything. Nothing. And so I was like, well, I thought I did well. I did you know.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

And and then and then there was this other one where I was I was on hold to do this commercial, and at the same time, I was gonna be part of a of a workshop of a new musical. And and I was trying to figure out, like, well well well, I'm still on hold for this commercial. You know? So I'm with my agent. It's like two days before, I I need to know. Am I still right? Released? Well, they haven't released you yet. I was like, oh, okay. And so then it came time where I had to say no. I had to turn down the the musical workshop because I was still on hold.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

And then so the commercial was to start on a Monday at 6AM. That came and went. And at 10AM, they said, you are released. It's like, well, well, okay. I I knew that four hours ago.

Akiko Aizawa:

Wrong. Very wrong. Right. Yeah. My opinion.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. I I I think no is just as valuable and also helpful for us as actors as a yes.

Akiko Aizawa:

Right?

Patrick Oliver Jones:

No. You you you've hit upon something that yes. You know what? I agree with you. I second that vote. Let's change that. Alright. Alright. Okay.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

So getting to number five. Here we are. Last question. So so describe a personal lesson that has taken you a while to learn or one that you are still working on to this day.

Akiko Aizawa:

Mhmm. I think there are two big issue for me. Number one, it's kind of general, but, the my tendency is I want to be liked from the people. Mhmm. And my big, big failure as an actor, when I got the main role, I wanted to be liked with director, and, it didn't work. I was just on stage just loud and stiff because I don't have the imagination for my role as an artist. And, I really try hard tried harder, but the, director gave up me and other actress came in. Because your motivation is very important.

Akiko Aizawa:

Where is your fire? How what is igniting you? Yeah. That's the big lesson. And, second one for me is don't worry too much. It's I we talked about it, let it go. I have the tendency, thinking too much and then worrying too much about what I cannot handle it. I cannot control it, but still I'm worried about it. And I'm wasting my energy and my time and my mind, Yeah. Mental health.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Well, I I I would definitely say that that's something that I've, struggled with younger, you know, when I was earlier in my career. As I've gotten older, and and I'm curious to hear from you, as I've gotten older, it has been easier, a little easier to let things go and realize, oh, you know what? That's really not that important. I'm gonna let that go. Have you found it easier as you get older to let things go?

Akiko Aizawa:

No. Oh. Because the, the subject subject is changing.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Oh, okay. Yeah.

Akiko Aizawa:

When I was young, it's about the how to survive mainly the money, and then now juggling with the time. And then also the my aging, the my joints hurts, arthritis, and

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Right.

Akiko Aizawa:

Really, what I could do before, I cannot do anymore. Squat 100 times or punching or kicking 1,000 times or something like that. I cannot do it. And then, you you know, what I'm comparing or for to my past and compare the way to others and compare and thinking about what issues are changing. So I don't find the ease to my mind. But one thing I know is I have the tendency to worry too much. So I'm trying to practicing, and, also, I'm trying to, practice to say no.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It can be tough because you wanna do it. You wanna do this. You wanna do that. You wanna do a little bit of everything, but we only have so much time and energy.

Akiko Aizawa:

Yep.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

I asked Elizabeth about you. She She she gave a glowing review. She said wonderful things. But I also wanted to just hear from you about what it's like to work with the Hess Collective and what it's like to have been working with Elizabeth in this new show, no reservations.

Akiko Aizawa:

Oh, big thumbs up. It's amazing. It's been amazing. She is the director on the let me go. If you I I have idea, she would say go. And then I'm this and this and then, without a direction, I'm doing it. And then self judgment is coming in. I will do it again in a different way and then do it.

Akiko Aizawa:

And she is really patient. But watching really closely and then her opinion, oh, I think this time, this character is thinking this way. And and then she she never forget to praise me. You're amazing. And then what do you think? And then next turn is coming, and then it's really fun fun to work with.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you.

Akiko Aizawa:

Did I answer your question?

Patrick Oliver Jones:

You did. You did. You were great. Thank you, Akiko. This has been so wonderful to get to talk to you and meet you. I'm grateful that you came on the podcast and got to talk about these things.

Akiko Aizawa:

Oh, thank you for your time among your busy touring schedule in Canada, and a lot of going.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

That's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Just trying to stay warm. That's that's the biggest thing, keeping warm.

Akiko Aizawa:

Important.

Patrick Oliver Jones:

Yes. Thank you so much for joining why I'll never make it. And don't forget, you can become a subscriber and get bonus conversations by going to whyI'llnevermakeit.com and click subscribe, or just look for the link in the show notes. Be sure to join me next time as we talk more about why I'll never make it.